Kids: Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother...

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 09:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 195

You deserved it 4 687

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By lamsolonely - 12/05/2013 04:35 - United States

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 228

You deserved it 7 558

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 14:01 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 151

You deserved it 1 937

By Anonymous - 02/12/2012 18:55 - United Kingdom - Southwold

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 500

You deserved it 2 565

By Anonymous - 22/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 049

You deserved it 3 785

Block-cocked

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 19:31 - India - Bangalore

Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 138

By MrDisgrace - 17/09/2017 13:00

Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 564

You deserved it 373

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 13:46

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 153

You deserved it 4 054

By blueheron93 - 13/11/2010 14:25 - Germany

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 247

You deserved it 3 080

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 3 816

How d'you guess?

By Anonymous - 06/02/2022 22:59

Today, my brother managed to correctly guess I’d lost my virginity. Apparently I was limping slightly, so he guessed I had a sore crotch and obviously must've popped my cherry. He was right, but I wish he hadn’t blurted it out in front of mom, who is religious and judgemental as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 325

MidnaLink 33

Friday 9 October 2015 18:25

He acts like VASTLY underage sex is something to be proud of.

Zoldyck 17

Friday 9 October 2015 18:23

It's really not that big of a deal. Not many girls want a player, anyway.

Comments

VlahVlahVlah 12

Tuesday 20 October 2015 1:02

Don't. Listen. To. Him.

cloudyface 23

Sunday 27 December 2015 21:32

Don't worry not everyone wants a man-*****. Someone will value that aspect of you.

BloodyGlass 10

Monday 15 February 2016 11:26

My brother had sex at 14, I had sex at 23. He started drinking at 16, I have had an alcoholic drink every few months since I was 21. He has been arrested, has several tickets for speeding and reckless driving, and is in a job he hates; I have had one speeding ticket (7 miles over the speed limit), I have never been arrested, and I now live with wonderful roommates and will be finishing college within the next year or so. Don't let the toxic people like your cockslap of a brother infect you, you're a better person and will reach greatness one day. He's jealous of you and that's why he tries to drag you down. Don't let him, you're better than that.

young_stud 14

Sunday 6 March 2016 20:03

OP, how is it that your bother can get laid but not you? Lack of social skils usually run in families, so it can't be that, and yet I can't think of any other possible explanation for how someone is unable to get laid in 25 years.