Kids: Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could... - FML

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 245

You deserved it 3 186

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 02:00

Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 146

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 965

You deserved it 1 780

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 300

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 077

You deserved it 492

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 609

You deserved it 3 176

By Dirty - 23/02/2017 08:00 - Canada

Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 360

You deserved it 559

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 437

Surprise!

By ilana - 10/02/2012 09:51 - United States

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 427

You deserved it 3 346

Messy

By chuchie - 12/06/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 569

You deserved it 6 656

By Livingthedream - 12/08/2018 06:00

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 468

Next

Top comments

LaydiexSkull 3

Monday 12 September 2011 2:20

How creative!(: He might grow up to be the next Picasso OP :p

lemonkittens 8

Monday 12 September 2011 2:24

Poop really captures the true essence of the color brown. Or green. It depends. Be grateful now he can draw you pretty pictures in beautiful, high quality colors.

Comments

franceypants 0

Monday 12 September 2011 2:30

that stinks. sorry op!!

franceypants 0

Monday 12 September 2011 2:30

that stinks. sorry op!!

EmptySequence 9

Monday 12 September 2011 2:32

Shit art? This kid is a revolutionary! Don't inhibit his creativity OP!

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 12 September 2011 2:33

For revenge, poop in his toy box and rub shit all over his room, that will show him.

JayJ17 7

Monday 12 September 2011 6:16

He's a kid. I know you were joking but still, that's messed up.

Cocainee 6

Monday 12 September 2011 2:34

Reminds me of the movie 'black balloon'

ultra_notorious 26

Monday 12 September 2011 2:36

if i were you, i would have quit right then and there on the spot

SummerFever 8

Monday 12 September 2011 2:39

No. ******* NO. I swear I will shove a rusty tire iron up the ass of the next person who uses another goddamn shit pun. I need some Tylenol...

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 12 September 2011 2:49

Well thats a shitty situation ok shove that rusty tire iron up my ass.

SummerFever 8

Monday 12 September 2011 2:59

I'm waiting for DocBastard to bring the lube.

zachherbert 10

Monday 12 September 2011 3:33

Let me at him! Let me ******* at him!

DocBastard 38

Monday 12 September 2011 3:48

SummerFever - no lube for trite pun offenders. Ever.

SummerFever 8

Monday 12 September 2011 3:56

You have a point. Alright, strap him down and take off his pants. This might get messy.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 12 September 2011 4:08

never experienced it but Go ahead, im bi anyways. ;)

perdix 29

Monday 12 September 2011 2:41

What can brown do for you?

gleeklove 2

Monday 12 September 2011 2:44

Oh gosh I'm sorry you had to clean that up... I hope you were wearing some cleaning gloves :0

DocBastard 38

Monday 12 September 2011 2:46

You can call him Pablo Poocasso. No? How about Leonardo Doo Vinci? Clod Monet? Vincent van Go?

COCKYmanUSC 3

Monday 12 September 2011 4:19

Lol(:

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 53 106

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 280

You deserved it 3 577

The Top

Today, my fiancé told me he wants a security guard to come with us on our honeymoon to Hawaii. Apparently, watching Dog the Bounty Hunter has made him feel unsafe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 265

You deserved it 2 908

Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 391

Today, my sisters were fighting, again. Unfortunately, one of them has the tendency to pick up the closest object and throw it at the other one. Unfortunately, I was the closest object, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 112

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 389

Today, I was in the shower washing my hair when my hand ran down the shower caddy and in particular, on my razor. If I wasn't woozy from all the blood splatter around the shower - seeing the bone that connects my finger definitely did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 565

You deserved it 771

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 333

You deserved it 71 457