Love: Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much...

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 394

You deserved it 3 957

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Same thing different taste

Delusional

By Anonymous - 02/08/2012 00:56 - United Kingdom - March

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 190

You deserved it 3 299

Is it that rare?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend is mad at me. Apparently in her country, not burping after a meal is very rude, and means you think their cooking skill is bad. I get throat gurgles, not burps. I tried to explain, but she thinks I made up a fake condition. It’s not fake, just so rare it’s unheard of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 126

Pound for pound

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 14:01

Today, my girlfriend had a huge fight with me because while I'm trying to gain weight and she’s trying to lose some, I’ve still lost more weight than her. Not my fault my body’s natural preference is to drop pounds like they’re hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 139

By brittrod - 05/12/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 043

You deserved it 3 386

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 145

You deserved it 44 641

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 15:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 472

You deserved it 1 650

By Username - 06/10/2010 21:59 - France

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose THAT much weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 037

You deserved it 28 714

By AbFlab - 01/06/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 806

You deserved it 5 225

Thanks Karen

By Anonymous - 26/08/2014 15:30 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 685

You deserved it 4 366

Whatthefuckaburger

By r u kidding me? - 09/06/2020 20:00

Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 877

You deserved it 333

bargarlm 2

Tuesday 13 December 2011 23:50

So she thinks she's full of air? That makes sense, sounds like she's an airhead....

tellithowitis 13

Tuesday 13 December 2011 23:49

Just nod your head and say yes

Comments

sxdryv 14

Tuesday 20 December 2011 9:10

The real concern here is that your little girl thinks shes fat (or needs to lose weight).

JeremyDahms 0

Friday 23 December 2011 22:48

Haha what a dumbass

arlo1024 0

Sunday 25 December 2011 8:16

Blonde by any change?

abbypointohh 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 22:17

I find that sweet, somehow.

newburton13 26

Wednesday 2 May 2012 12:33

Well, at least she knows she's full of hot air.

macromaniac9 12

Sunday 13 January 2013 5:30

Sucks more for the seal?

caseiscool90 14

Thursday 5 February 2015 6:31

Well she would lose weight. But she wouldn't lose it permanently. Conservation of mass people-any middle schooler would know it.

bobflugg 6

Saturday 22 October 2016 21:00

Make this comment have the most dislikes on the whole FML site let's do it Bois.

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I agree, your life sucks 11

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Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

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The Top

Today, I was in the romantic section of a book store making fun of the titles. Thinking my friend was behind me, I read in a sexy voice, “Sleeping with a Stranger” and turned to laugh only to find the 70-year-old store manager smiling and winking at me. FML

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Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML

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You deserved it 6 371

Today, I’m 9 months pregnant, and my due date is less than a week away. The dad? Some random guy whose name I don’t know who fucked me in a tent at Coachella while I was drunk of my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

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Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

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Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen. FML

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Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 840

You deserved it 44 007