Love: Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much...

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 394

You deserved it 3 957

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Delusional

By Anonymous - 02/08/2012 00:56 - United Kingdom - March

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 190

You deserved it 3 299

Is it that rare?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend is mad at me. Apparently in her country, not burping after a meal is very rude, and means you think their cooking skill is bad. I get throat gurgles, not burps. I tried to explain, but she thinks I made up a fake condition. It’s not fake, just so rare it’s unheard of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 126

Pound for pound

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 14:01

Today, my girlfriend had a huge fight with me because while I'm trying to gain weight and she’s trying to lose some, I’ve still lost more weight than her. Not my fault my body’s natural preference is to drop pounds like they’re hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 139

By brittrod - 05/12/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 043

You deserved it 3 386

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 145

You deserved it 44 641

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 15:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 472

You deserved it 1 650

By Username - 06/10/2010 21:59 - France

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose THAT much weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 037

You deserved it 28 714

By AbFlab - 01/06/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 806

You deserved it 5 225

Thanks Karen

By Anonymous - 26/08/2014 15:30 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 685

You deserved it 4 366

Whatthefuckaburger

By r u kidding me? - 09/06/2020 20:00

Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 877

You deserved it 333

bargarlm 2

Tuesday 13 December 2011 23:50

So she thinks she's full of air? That makes sense, sounds like she's an airhead....

tellithowitis 13

Tuesday 13 December 2011 23:49

Just nod your head and say yes

Comments

bshawndes1 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 15:24

She sounds smart.

lalalindsaaay 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 15:41

I'm assuming she's at least good looking for you to be with her and she's probably good at blow jobs. Really though, what a dumb ****. OP I'm not sure if I feel bad for you because your girl is a dumbass. You made that choice to be with her. And you know it's one thing for someone to do something "blonde" once in awhile but it sounds like she's in it full time.

madrabbit 3

Wednesday 14 December 2011 19:06

Let me guess...blond?

legresley85 1

Wednesday 14 December 2011 20:08

Are you dating her just because of her looks. If so I don't feel bad for you. It's called high maintenance and a low IQ you really shouldn't be surprised.

MontesC 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 20:39

Wait... You don't?! Damn Wikipedia.... Giving me wrong information.

ALLDAY88 8

Wednesday 14 December 2011 21:23

You should have told her to hold in her farts, so that she'll burp more, thus losing a shit ton of weight.

OMGAlf 4

Wednesday 14 December 2011 22:02

Why would you go out with someone stupid? i heard rumours in America that the independent smart women are fat/ugly and the stupid women are hot.

bubo_fml 10

Thursday 15 December 2011 0:21

Next time your at the dinner table with her family, let off an ear splitting, cloth ripping fart & say, "Sorry, just trying to lose some extra weight!" (Careful you don't shit yourself though...)