Miscellaneous: Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk... - FML

By not as easy as pie - 16/10/2015 16:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 226

You deserved it 21 362

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Same thing different taste

By fatty magoo - 29/07/2014 18:20 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 300

You deserved it 15 981

Potholing

By limpdick9 - 19/11/2014 18:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 496

You deserved it 7 185

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 568

You deserved it 4 614

By drewig - 10/05/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 149

You deserved it 53 594

Panic mode activated

By Man in car - 11/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 297

By Kimmiko - 04/06/2009 12:17 - Germany

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 199

You deserved it 7 167

The smell of freedom

By ThatNewCarSmell - 01/10/2014 16:53 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 880

You deserved it 45 702

By driverman12 - 04/04/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 178

You deserved it 31 002

Underage boozing

By drunk under 18 teenager - 19/08/2014 13:37 - Morocco - Marrakech

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 092

You deserved it 50 300

By candymansvan17 - 17/08/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 461

You deserved it 3 235

Next

Top comments

JayGatsby 25

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Could the pie not have waited till you got home?

MegasaurusRex89 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Dean?

Comments

Blusinn 13

Sunday 18 October 2015 5:49

Well its pie and I don't blame you

juggalo2 20

Sunday 18 October 2015 13:32

Were you also reading an email from your ex at the time?

kilobravo 12

Sunday 18 October 2015 20:16

Did you have a toy dog in your lap, too? :-S

tinyalmeida 11

Monday 19 October 2015 1:29

Who eats pie while driving?!! I hope I am never on the road where you are driving! YDI OP, that's dangerous. Maybe just wait until you aren't driving anymore to eat something next time.

krray 7

Monday 19 October 2015 19:20

Distracted driving. TICKET. Hope you got one.

ronzi 15

Monday 19 October 2015 23:10

I guess the pie was worth that trouble

Jenadpantano 7

Tuesday 20 October 2015 0:54

Do people not understand that driving requires you to pay attention?!? YDI for trying to eat pie while driving.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 6 049

You deserved it 408

Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 66 649

You deserved it 8 674

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I agree, your life sucks 36 824

You deserved it 3 230

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I agree, your life sucks 46 090

You deserved it 17 548

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I agree, your life sucks 33 833

You deserved it 3 616

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I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 678

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 598

You deserved it 4 843