Miscellaneous: Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk... - FML

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By not as easy as pie - 16/10/2015 16:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 229

You deserved it 21 369

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By fatty magoo - 29/07/2014 18:20 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 308

You deserved it 15 987

Potholing

By limpdick9 - 19/11/2014 18:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 503

You deserved it 7 190

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 582

You deserved it 4 622

By drewig - 10/05/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 153

You deserved it 53 607

Panic mode activated

By Man in car - 11/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 314

By Kimmiko - 04/06/2009 12:17 - Germany

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 213

You deserved it 7 170

The smell of freedom

By ThatNewCarSmell - 01/10/2014 16:53 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 881

You deserved it 45 714

By driverman12 - 04/04/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 183

You deserved it 31 008

Do not attempt this at home, or on the road

By Anonymous - 25/02/2025 15:59 - Australia

Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 1 512

Underage boozing

By drunk under 18 teenager - 19/08/2014 13:37 - Morocco - Marrakech

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 093

You deserved it 50 312

Next

Top comments

JayGatsby 25

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Could the pie not have waited till you got home?

MegasaurusRex89 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 1:37

Dean?

Comments

Skulllily 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 4:48

Are you Dean Winchester?

sarcasmine 19

Saturday 17 October 2015 4:57

Is the pie okay?!

iBiteUrFaceXO 13

Saturday 17 October 2015 5:59

Almost the exact same thing happened to my sister. Only she was opening a package of hotdogs, and then offered the officer a hotdog. She got off.

NightKat 25

Saturday 17 October 2015 6:18

And cue the SPN fandom Is it bad that I immediately thought of Dean Winchester?

kjkoop 4

Saturday 17 October 2015 6:30

Here in Ontario, you would have been cited with distracted driving and issued a $1000 ticket. YDI.

FuckThisLogin 32

Saturday 17 October 2015 14:19

Unless you're the Mayor of a major city.

infiniteluckycat 5

Saturday 17 October 2015 6:36

I hope that's a euphemism.

BaDumTsss_fml 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 6:53

...maybe don't eat pie while driving

bapbap_fml 15

Saturday 17 October 2015 7:37

That would still get you a $300 ticket for distracted driving here. Not smart.

iAlissa 34

Saturday 17 October 2015 8:52

Better pie than beer.

delichick 27

Saturday 17 October 2015 9:41

God, I hope you got a ******* ticket for distracted driving. People like you make me glad I dont drive anymore and fear for my familys safety. The pie could have waited til you got to where you needed to go.

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You deserved it 1 466

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I agree, your life sucks 3 899

You deserved it 938

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