Work: Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't...

By A Henderson - 25/04/2012 20:50 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 192

You deserved it 2 254

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By harrington61 - 19/05/2013 21:27 - United States - Midland

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 305

You deserved it 3 920

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 200

You deserved it 37 046

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 203

You deserved it 2 575

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 168

You deserved it 3 185

Road rage

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 06:00

Today, a guy hit my car, and I threatened to sue him after he started the conversation rudely. He told me to go ahead, because he doesn’t have any money or a job anyway, then because from his perspective he had nothing else really to lose, he kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 389

By hatemyjob - 23/04/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 083

You deserved it 43 678

By me - 12/03/2012 02:49 - United States

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 104

You deserved it 3 590

Not taking it well

By runsinthefamily - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Aurora

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 009

You deserved it 4 635

Malicious

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 12:00

Today, after the opportunity for a little malicious compliance came my way, and I did exactly what my prick boss told me to do, knowing it would screw him over in about a week, it happened. Unfortunately, he has a good legal team and he just successfully sued me for £100,000. I may have to sell my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 614

By Anownimous - 18/09/2015 19:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my 50-something coworker followed through on his threat to file a defamation lawsuit against me. All because I jokingly said "pedo" after he bragged to everyone that his girlfriend is a smoking hot 19-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 784

You deserved it 5 686

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 25 April 2012 23:54

You should sue him for getting violent and messing up your office. And then you should sue him for trying to force you to take a frivolous case. And then you should sue him for threatening you!

SkoomaKi 27

Wednesday 25 April 2012 23:54

I'm willing to bet this guy is old. Old people just have a natural thing for complaining. We give them a nice retirement home and a phone call once a month, what could they complain about?

Comments

tennisrapper1 14

Wednesday 25 April 2012 23:59

Some people take sensitivity to a whole new level. >.>

pagullarka 9

Wednesday 25 April 2012 23:59

Well dammit he needs to sue somebody will be the neighbor are you you pick

lemonmilk 8

Thursday 26 April 2012 0:01

What?

Michele2luv 8

Thursday 26 April 2012 0:21

"Will it be the neighbor or you? You pick?" is what that should have said but he's an idiot and didn't check his comment before posting

evig_fml 16

Thursday 26 April 2012 0:34

36- where did you learn to translate derp?

Fruitmonster2 15

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:13

Derpology, I presume or was it from the University of Derp?

perdix 29

Thursday 26 April 2012 0:01

The reality is that you are the true pansy. If you had balls, you'd threaten the name-caller with a slander and defamation lawsuit, and score a sweet settlement. But, you didn't, . . . pansy.

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Thursday 26 April 2012 6:36

Perdix, were you anybody but PERDIX, your comment would have been downvoted into oblivion.

llamafish 25

Thursday 26 April 2012 0:01

Good luck finding a lawyer for that. That'll REALLY get him laughed out of the court.

OffToTheGayBar 9

Thursday 26 April 2012 0:03

When my friends and I were kids, we went to a fair and bought hand-crafted wooden swords. We went to a place far from the festivities and people to have an epic sword fight. During my climactic death an elderly man pushed his way through our battle and said, "If you hit me with those, I'll sue your asses." People will sue for anything nowadays. And the shit part is, they win. You should've slapped that bitch, OP. Wait, never mind, not only is violence hardly ever the answer, but your ass woulda been slapped with a subpoena. Verbally slap that bitch, yeah, that's the answer. Be like, "Ah, hell, no!" *Pow* Right in the kisser, orally that is. :D

evig_fml 16

Thursday 26 April 2012 0:38

I would have thrown it at him and said my hand slipped, and then I would wish him good luck in trying to sue the forces of nature and physics

rooney0710 5

Thursday 26 April 2012 0:10

Suere nice guy ;p

TheTerenity 9

Thursday 26 April 2012 1:33

*facepalm*

badmike89 6

Thursday 26 April 2012 0:17

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't illegal for you to discuss this kind of stuff that is against his rights

X_Codes 11

Thursday 26 April 2012 0:22

No, it's not illegal. We can't attach this particular line of conversation to any living, breathing people, so it's still essentially confidential. What's more, there's the distinct possibility that the lawyer wasn't actually retained yet, which means that the conversation wouldn't even be confidential, and I'm sure that in some states there's even another exception should the client physically threaten his attorney.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 26 April 2012 0:27

It IS against his rights! You should sue! Wait, who is "his"? And who is the lawyer? What, you mean you don't know? Then no one is violating anything, numbnuts.

Levvy 22

Friday 27 April 2012 15:13

Okay, Badmike, here's the test: Can you tell us whose privacy has been violated? I don't mean who in the story. I mean what individual United States citizen. If you can't, then no.