Kids: Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick...

By latter - 24/09/2013 00:05 - United States - Middle River

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 311

You deserved it 3 310

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Same thing different taste

By whatarethisss - 29/01/2016 16:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 966

You deserved it 1 689

Brain melt

By coco1234 - 09/03/2020 12:35

Today, I stood there for 10 minutes trying to fix the toaster, until I called my brother to help me. I'd forgotten that it wasn't plugged in. He now thinks I'm a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 1 431

By Evaki1 - 13/06/2011 14:24 - Greece

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 673

You deserved it 4 581

It's toast

By Crying - 16/04/2017 02:00

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 767

You deserved it 364

By ProsserBabe11 - 15/04/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 087

You deserved it 2 526

By Anonymous - 01/01/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 168

You deserved it 3 278

By jenni6488 - 22/02/2012 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 23 292

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 2 105

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 937

You deserved it 2 839

By smarterthanmymum - 26/05/2011 09:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 267

You deserved it 2 985

Kibaruto 33

Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:03

If it's not plugged in, it's fair game.

RojerRamjet 3

Tuesday 24 September 2013 10:03

Should have let him find out the hard way

Comments

Pwn17 25

Tuesday 24 September 2013 11:07

Tell him to stop dicking around.

bingbongbingbong 11

Tuesday 24 September 2013 11:38

Only In America

graceinsheepwear 33

Tuesday 24 September 2013 11:59

Toaster strudel.

asherm 15

Tuesday 24 September 2013 11:59

I would think the pain would convince your brother, young "Darwin".

armoso231 7

Tuesday 24 September 2013 12:08

His thoughts at that moment, "Instructions unclear! Stick dick inside the toaster?"

incognito1520 20

Tuesday 24 September 2013 12:09

Should have let him learn that on his own.

Chellec2013 28

Tuesday 24 September 2013 12:15

Should just let him next time. Stop him from reproducing. Make sure he buys you a new toaster though.

sunshine41196 12

Tuesday 24 September 2013 12:20

yum toasted dick with white sauce for breakfast!

emuexport 4

Tuesday 24 September 2013 12:27

Errrrr, Thats hot :/

ShadowFlame275 18

Tuesday 24 September 2013 12:35

I gave am xbox live friend who's gtag is chodetoaster.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 24 September 2013 15:25

wha-huh?

Keywords

Animals Dogs Cute Food Work Roommate Parents Miscellaneous Painful Kids Health Ironic Management Transportation Awkward Embarrassing First Dates Love Poopoo peepee Family Intimacy Sexting Cheating Relatable Confused Students Lonely Relationship advice Break-ups My ex

The Top

Today, my husband refuses to have sex with me, ever since I told him I wanted to try for a baby. When I asked him why, he said it was because he likes lack of responsibility and money in the bank more than the thought of a screaming baby, no sleep and strong suicidal urges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 2 058

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 069

You deserved it 3 226

The Top

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 516

You deserved it 3 491

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 136

You deserved it 5 311

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 571

You deserved it 31 052

Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 768

You deserved it 1 423

Today, after two months of unemployment, I got a call from a marketing firm offering me an interview for an entry-level position. While Googling the company, I discovered it's a scam. I graduated college in 3 years with a 3.5 GPA, and the only interview I can get is at a fake company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 126

You deserved it 5 014

Today, while planning for our trip next spring, my friend told me that she's decided that her mom is coming with us. It’s non-negotiable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 168

Same thing different taste

Brain melt

It's toast

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