Work: Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective...

By DocKreso - 28/06/2013 21:59 - Croatia - Split

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 895

You deserved it 6 394

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fijiflu - 05/11/2015 21:31

Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 551

You deserved it 1 544

We could be heroes…

By ally - 23/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Austin

Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 184

By Nickname - 12/10/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 768

You deserved it 13 864

By sorethumb - 15/12/2015 23:39 - United Kingdom - Bookham

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 525

You deserved it 3 399

By lambeaster - 20/01/2016 14:27 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 830

You deserved it 3 715

By vegantreegirl - 04/02/2019 20:00

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 491

You deserved it 335

Ight imma head out

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 147

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 428

You deserved it 3 283

Big kid

By Pauly - 10/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 312

By Anonymous - 05/05/2014 02:58 - United States - Mount Airy

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 299

You deserved it 4 023

lu95 16

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:19

Hopefully said patient doesn't read this website! Otherwise, good luck being poor!

GrinchFu1 27

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:19

There's no hipaa violation if you didn't mention his name. Hahahaha!!!

Comments

charrmaander 10

Sunday 30 June 2013 0:13

Gmian, not every doctor is here to help us. Some may have started with that intention but you'll find a lot of doctors change their opinions of "saving" "helping" people. I'd know, I work with those people.

Huddisher 10

Sunday 30 June 2013 3:14

One bottle, one guy, and one doctor.

ulissey_fml 22

Sunday 30 June 2013 3:17

You cork teaser!

depressingbunny 6

Sunday 30 June 2013 4:43

Ya who cares about doctor patient confidentiality and laws pertaining to doctors

ouimetnick 10

Sunday 30 June 2013 6:18

Doc Bastard.... Is that you?

jessejamesc 8

Sunday 30 June 2013 9:37

lol. client confidentiality only covers their name. It says nothing about the case impairments, diseases and disabilities!

thegreycat_fml 12

Monday 1 July 2013 3:18

As far as I can tell, as long as the good doc omits information that enables people to find the patient it isn't a violation. Also, part of a doctor-patient confidintiality is that the patient has to be honest- which this guy obviously wasn't.