Kids: Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's...

By TCRII - 23/07/2014 23:52 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 817

You deserved it 5 165

TCRII tells us more.

TCRII 29

Friday 25 July 2014 5:12

He has been in summer camp the last couple of weeks. His group did an obstacle course through the woods and they had to get everyone over a 6 foot high wooden wall. Pretty sure he got it from that. No signs of infection.

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

stillalive33 14

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:21

This is going to be a great story for future girlfriends.

wood32000 4

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:21

now how'd he manage that?

Comments

mattrd_fml 31

Friday 25 July 2014 2:58

How???

HotShot313 15

Friday 25 July 2014 3:07

now you should be concerned, OP

kaytasha 18

Friday 25 July 2014 3:37

This begs the question, how did it get there????

puffthekraken 7

Friday 25 July 2014 3:46

must really have a pencil dick..

mattbaker 17

Friday 25 July 2014 4:07

He ****** a wooden toy?

themaster6945 5

Friday 25 July 2014 4:17

Don't put ur woody in wood

travisrwr 8

Friday 25 July 2014 4:27

slid down the side of a tree or a home made play ground but accidents happen. every immediately jumps too well he must of been ******* a tree.

Grandmastasexy 14

Friday 25 July 2014 4:35

Gotta stop messing with his wood...

zarrie_carrie281 21

Friday 25 July 2014 4:35

Pinocchio

tianyiwei 17

Friday 25 July 2014 4:36

was he ******* a tree?

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Holidays Lonely Relatable Bosses Work Capitalism You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 781

You deserved it 5 987

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 514

The Top

Today, I ran over a pothole that was so small it barely qualified as a hole, more like a dent than a hole, but somehow it was still enough to completely crack the rim of my tire and made me 3 hours late to work. I get paid by the hour, so this will hurt my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 165

Today, my boyfriend renewed his driver's license and showed me the picture. I told him he needed to go back because they'd put the wrong birthdate. Turns out the idiot forgot he’s been lying to me about his age the whole time we’ve been together. He’s not actually 30. He’ll be 43 in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 795

You deserved it 503

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 424

You deserved it 6 869

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 167

You deserved it 8 759

Today, I told a customer at the drive-thru I couldn't hear him as he had his music blaring too loud. The customer then drove to the window and verbally abused me for listening to my iPod at work. My "iPod" is the headset we use to take orders at the drive-thru. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 162

You deserved it 2 507

Today, I got into a car accident that was my fault. The other driver was my professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 541

You deserved it 1 734