Kids: Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting...

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By myfamilyisodd - 15/10/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 492

You deserved it 5 235

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Same thing different taste

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 641

You deserved it 3 071

By Emily - 12/11/2012 18:12 - United States - Hayward

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 045

You deserved it 2 971

Gun control

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 20:01

Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 156

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 106

You deserved it 5 945

By srhoa01 - 05/07/2016 06:42

Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 338

You deserved it 1 612

By Notre_Dame_714 - 08/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 475

You deserved it 4 448

Gun culture is fascinating

By Gun safety - 21/12/2024 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, my 14 year-old son asked to join my buddies and me at the gun range. The second I finished the safety lecture and handed him a pistol, he started twirling it on his finger (thankfully, it was unloaded). I smacked him in the head and took him home. Now he's moping and sulking like a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 246

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 989

Tough guy

By Anonymous - 14/08/2013 04:26 - United States - Austin

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 009

You deserved it 6 752

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 20/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to take my son to hospital because he had two Lego pieces up his nose. He’s 19 and shoved them up there because he was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 162

MerrikBarbarian 9

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:15

how does one shoot oneself in the ass? o-o

faithxoxox 1

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:24

Hey, vaginas see tougher than balls. You punch a guy's balls, he'll squeal like a pig. But vaginas can take a pounding!

Comments

Scands_59 14

Monday 17 October 2011 9:50

Your son is an epic legend lol

SteveTonyY 3

Monday 17 October 2011 18:34

Today, I was taken to the emergency room for shooting myself in the ass. FML

Cram_Burglar 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 14:44

You'll shoot your ass out, kid!

melissaisawsome 0

Wednesday 19 October 2011 2:09

Well that was dumb of him

Watermelonswagg 4

Saturday 22 October 2011 22:07

LOL

riha1210 1

Thursday 10 November 2011 6:24

Haha , it's crazy how some of these FML's are so fake .. haha..

melkymac101 17

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:38

WTF is wrong with your son. Not trying to b mean.

StromyG2 10

Thursday 8 December 2011 16:04

It takes a special talent to manage that! WTG

Lookinforlove10 1

Monday 21 May 2012 21:40

How did he manage that?

diamondbaby16 4

Friday 6 July 2012 9:29

Thats funny but also painful

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "obsessed" with my new female coworker. She gave me a piece of paper with dozens of tally marks on it. What were the tally marks keeping count of? Every time I've mentioned my coworker to my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 993

Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 1 411

The Top

Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 194

Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary. It's also the 5th anniversary of the last time he made me orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 865

You deserved it 7 403

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate when she pulled me in close and whispered in my ear, "We're getting Chips Ahoy after this." I came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 634

You deserved it 2 995

Today, after being stuck in a traffic jam for quite a long time, my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 51

Today, I found out that college stressed me out so much that my stomach acid now eats holes in my stomach wall. I went from, “Oh, I have a tummy ache” to “You can’t eat or drink for 24 hours because we gotta do surgery on a perforated ulcer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 95

Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 807

You deserved it 619