Kids: Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting...

By myfamilyisodd - 15/10/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 477

You deserved it 5 234

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Same thing different taste

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 634

You deserved it 3 066

By Emily - 12/11/2012 18:12 - United States - Hayward

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 031

You deserved it 2 969

Gun control

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 20:01

Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 151

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 097

You deserved it 5 940

By srhoa01 - 05/07/2016 06:42

Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 329

You deserved it 1 607

By Notre_Dame_714 - 08/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 460

You deserved it 4 444

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 977

Tough guy

By Anonymous - 14/08/2013 04:26 - United States - Austin

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 998

You deserved it 6 748

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 20/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to take my son to hospital because he had two Lego pieces up his nose. He’s 19 and shoved them up there because he was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 156

By badmom - 25/02/2012 11:25 - Ireland

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 106

You deserved it 8 666

MerrikBarbarian 9

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:15

how does one shoot oneself in the ass? o-o

faithxoxox 1

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:24

Hey, vaginas see tougher than balls. You punch a guy's balls, he'll squeal like a pig. But vaginas can take a pounding!

Comments

Scands_59 14

Monday 17 October 2011 9:50

Your son is an epic legend lol

SteveTonyY 3

Monday 17 October 2011 18:34

Today, I was taken to the emergency room for shooting myself in the ass. FML

Cram_Burglar 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 14:44

You'll shoot your ass out, kid!

melissaisawsome 0

Wednesday 19 October 2011 2:09

Well that was dumb of him

Watermelonswagg 4

Saturday 22 October 2011 22:07

LOL

riha1210 1

Thursday 10 November 2011 6:24

Haha , it's crazy how some of these FML's are so fake .. haha..

melkymac101 17

Sunday 27 November 2011 8:38

WTF is wrong with your son. Not trying to b mean.

StromyG2 10

Thursday 8 December 2011 16:04

It takes a special talent to manage that! WTG

Lookinforlove10 1

Monday 21 May 2012 21:40

How did he manage that?

diamondbaby16 4

Friday 6 July 2012 9:29

Thats funny but also painful

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my neighbour came over, claiming she was tired of receiving my psychic messages so yes, she would have a sexual relationship with me and my husband, as long as I stop sending messages because every message gives her a migraine. The cops and an ambulance were called real quick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 149

Today, I was demoted from my job because the security cameras caught me dancing in the elevator, and it was considered "inappropriate behavior." I was celebrating getting a promotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, after being constipated a few days, I used the restroom at a bar. It took a loooong time before I got out. As I went to exit the bar, only the employees were still there, waiting for me because they had closed 30 minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 711

You deserved it 2 736

Today, ever since my boyfriend has seen A Clockwork Orange, he always suggests that we have sex by asking, "How about a little of the good old in-out-in-out?" and refers to his genitals as, "Yarbles". He seriously doesn't understand why this turns me off every time and our sex life has sunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 242

You deserved it 761

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 813

You deserved it 4 493

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 132

You deserved it 630

Today, I FaceTimed my boyfriend at work instead of calling him, because I suspected he wasn't wearing his mask, and I don't want him to bring home COVID or RSV. He called me an "insufferable control freak" and didn't come home that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 1 972

Today, after a 3-day induced delivery for my twins, and after getting stitches down there, I woke up to boobs that are the size of footballs, and still no milk coming out. The pain of chopping them off at this point would be more bearable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 137