Kids: Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting...

By myfamilyisodd - 15/10/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 477

You deserved it 5 234

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Same thing different taste

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 634

You deserved it 3 066

By Emily - 12/11/2012 18:12 - United States - Hayward

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 031

You deserved it 2 969

Gun control

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 20:01

Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 151

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 097

You deserved it 5 940

By srhoa01 - 05/07/2016 06:42

Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 329

You deserved it 1 607

By Notre_Dame_714 - 08/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 460

You deserved it 4 444

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 977

Tough guy

By Anonymous - 14/08/2013 04:26 - United States - Austin

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 998

You deserved it 6 748

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 20/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to take my son to hospital because he had two Lego pieces up his nose. He’s 19 and shoved them up there because he was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 156

By badmom - 25/02/2012 11:25 - Ireland

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 106

You deserved it 8 666

MerrikBarbarian 9

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:15

how does one shoot oneself in the ass? o-o

faithxoxox 1

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:24

Hey, vaginas see tougher than balls. You punch a guy's balls, he'll squeal like a pig. But vaginas can take a pounding!

Comments

bizarre_ftw 21

Monday 22 October 2012 0:55

Skill!! ******* SKILL!!!

mavman79 5

Sunday 18 November 2012 23:48

Why did you buy him a bb then. Ydi.

InfamousRaider 15

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:58

zomgbies 17

Friday 2 August 2013 21:53

You deserve it for not teaching him to safely use and care for a firearm. bb gun or rifle.

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Friday 9 August 2013 23:23

He's a pain in the ass

nettrol 19

Saturday 8 March 2014 13:36

How in the . . . ass?

FatherofTime87 18

Tuesday 15 April 2014 13:00

Quite a feat, that

spiNdraHekiLI 11

Tuesday 1 July 2014 6:33

Do I even wanna know how that's even possible?

XandraHart 15

Wednesday 12 August 2015 21:45

I know someone who shot himself in the dick with one. Thankfully it was spring loaded one and not a gas one.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 081

You deserved it 3 268

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 173

You deserved it 9 146

The Top

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 620

You deserved it 5 883

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 168

You deserved it 4 293

Today, a customer got an additional discount, so his total came to $61. He said, "It says they're 3 for $66!” I tried to explain the discount, saying it’s cheaper, but he still insisted on paying $66. I couldn’t modify the price at my end. He left without buying anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 136

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 293

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 062

You deserved it 8 487

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 862

You deserved it 4 972