Kids: Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to...

By yingyang2 - 06/01/2011 02:19 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 5 004

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Same thing different taste

By Lisa - 16/12/2014 03:38 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 253

You deserved it 4 373

Mystery man

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 716

You deserved it 3 982

Preference

By Windstar - 07/04/2009 07:32 - Canada

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 850

You deserved it 7 969

By Yeoman - 19/11/2011 07:47 - New Zealand

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 228

You deserved it 7 112

By Taylor - 20/07/2011 16:37 - United States

Today, after spending time with my daughter and painting her nails she gives me a hug and says, "Mommy I love you, but I love daddy much better!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 918

You deserved it 4 550

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 3 166

Mommy issues

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I was picking up my 7 year-old daughter at my ex-husband's house, my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with Daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently, the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 867

You deserved it 9 343

Influencer brain

By Anonymous - 06/07/2022 16:00

Today, my stepdaughter called me "Dad" for the first time. It was quite an emotional moment, until I realised she was just recording my reaction for a stupid TikTok, and didn’t really mean it. She’s pulled some pranks before, but this time I’m done with her, she can fuck right off from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 141

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 654

You deserved it 3 132

By notawizard - 16/07/2009 10:16 - Spain

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 349

You deserved it 95 132

The_Dude_Abides_ 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 9:07

weird if a little kids knows it and you don't

BoredomKillsinc 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 9:10

looks like she knows something you don't

Comments

surferchick96 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 12:23

oh children. hm. i cant blame her, if i was 5 id do the same thing.

chulabby 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 12:27

hahhaha!! she's down

onlywhenyourdrea 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 13:07

She's five. children do stupid things. don't take it personally, shed prob do that to anyone who wasn't her mommy and married to her dad.

Keithgsxr 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 13:51

what a kick in the face, that sucks.

Kim15051992 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 13:52

Talk to your husband..

DakotaCat 4

Thursday 6 January 2011 14:06

She's not a toddler

LemonStarship 5

Thursday 6 January 2011 15:09

What a cute kid.

lizamaphone 6

Thursday 6 January 2011 15:49

Do you even know what "ironic" means, 1?

alfredrog 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 15:50

slap the bitch !!

thelastavailable 13

Thursday 6 January 2011 16:13

Slap a five year old because she wants her mum..?

glitter354 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 15:54

A 5 year old would not be able to put a sentence together like that. A simple sentence, maybe...but this is way too complicated for a kindergartener.

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The Top

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

Today, I am so sick and tired of watching my brother get everything he wants in life from being a bastard. He does everything I would consider bad and it’s made him rich and successful. I try and be a good person and all it got me is fired, and in danger of losing my car and house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, it was my first day at a new gym, which cost a fortune. Some skinny teen who had clearly never lifted in his life dropped a weight while I was stretching and broke my ankle. Money down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 988

You deserved it 307

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 604

You deserved it 14 038

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 107

You deserved it 20 424

Today, while I was wearing a blue coat, a coworker asked me what color my coat was. Confused, I said, “...blue?” He and my other coworkers burst out screaming with laughter. Turns out he didn’t say ‘coat’ but ‘poop’. I work with a bunch of five year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 102

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 157

You deserved it 3 571

Today, I barely drink and have never touched tobacco or drugs, but my body has become so accustomed to my prescription medications that missing even one dose will cause withdrawal-induced chills and vomiting. I take them for a chronic illness, and can't switch to anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 223

You deserved it 466