Health: Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30...

By shitty day - 30/11/2011 10:53 - United States

Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 193

You deserved it 2 431

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 113

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 23/02/2015 17:56 - United States

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 652

You deserved it 5 941

Both ends

By sickofsick - 30/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 668

You deserved it 3 982

Fools rush in

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 10:00 - United States - Utica

Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 019

You deserved it 5 401

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

Leaked internals

By Poopy pants - 12/06/2023 12:00

Today, my anus has given up the ghost. Now if I vomit, have a violent coughing fit, or orgasm too intensely, I will shit myself. Even if I have absolutely no gas or need to go. I'm scared to leave the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 06/06/2015 04:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 932

You deserved it 2 190

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 256

You deserved it 1 735

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 190

You deserved it 4 208

xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 16:04

Wear a diaper and drive as fast as u can

Fruit_Dealer 9

Wednesday 30 November 2011 16:05

I'm sure certain fruits will help. Let me check in my collection.. Hmmm not that.. This could do. Here, try a few bananas.

Comments

fernclogger 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 17:55

Apparently 51 people think it's your fault for being sick? Haha

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 30 November 2011 17:57

Everyone else has it right - go to your doctor when you don't risk spreading your plague to the general public. Drink fluids to stay hydrated (it won't "flush it out of your system" - that's a myth), and wait it out. If you develop fevers or severe abdominal pain, go to the ER as those could be signs of a serious infection. And make sure to wash your hands thoroughly after every episode. These infections are usually spread through the fecal-oral route.

louize_fml 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 17:59

Happened to me. I almost got dehydrated.

CSC_fml 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 18:12

You have the flu, your not dieing...the flu is a virus not an infection it can't be cured with antibiotics...So there is nothing the doctor can do for you. Stay home rest drink lots of fluids and in a couple days you will be fine.

Aranaxis 10

Wednesday 30 November 2011 18:18

Both my brother and I have the stomach flu we feel the same

ScrivNasty 3

Wednesday 30 November 2011 18:45

If it goes on for too long you'll get dehydrated, especially of you start throwing up too. Honestly you should drink enough fluids and try and get foods to settle your stomach. Have someone consult the dr for you?

Timmeeh 17

Wednesday 30 November 2011 18:52

Going to the doctor would mostly be an exercise in being (potentially) virulent around others anyway; there's not much that can be done for gastroenteritis. Send someone out for an over the counter palliative, keep drinking plenty of water and wait for it to end.

beastmode21 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:02

he should send a text to every1 they know and ask for adult diapers

Kiloueka 3

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:22

Duct tape your but cheeks shut and drive there

kaykay20 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 19:26

Well make sure to drink lots of fluids (preferably water) so you don't get dehydrated. If its from bad food like a sandwich that sat out too long then you will only need to go to the doctors if you think/are dehydrated or it last for more then a few days. Helps to talk to a nurse first before considering a appointment.