Health: Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/10/2013 20:42 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 634

You deserved it 3 545

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Same thing different taste

By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 190

You deserved it 3 533

Crossing a line

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 19:25 - United States - Wapakoneta

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 014

You deserved it 3 359

Nice family you've got there

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 811

You deserved it 2 651

Surgery gone rogue

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 987

You deserved it 11 435

By Anonymous - 06/10/2013 21:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 505

You deserved it 3 847

By Gee... Thanks - 03/09/2014 01:35

Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 779

You deserved it 5 657

By pong - 06/08/2013 21:59 - France - Toulouse

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 012

You deserved it 4 070

Unprofessional

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 04:00

Today, while at the hospital recovering from surgery, I overheard my doctor tell one of the nurses I'm so fat I could start a grease fire if left near an open flame. They thought I was still unconscious. I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 392

By EnderHorse - 05/11/2015 20:52 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 762

You deserved it 2 525

Funny, thanks

By picklebug - 26/07/2013 16:25 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 733

You deserved it 10 288

Next

Top comments

Everyday_Galaxy 14

Friday 1 November 2013 1:39

In medical school he worried about passing as a surgeon, but he made the cut. That was bad.

DocBastard 38

Friday 1 November 2013 1:49

To answer your question: NO. IT WASN'T ME. (but I've totally said almost this exact thing)

Comments

underthesea12 24

Friday 1 November 2013 3:58

I agree it would be so very easy.

Retrokitty 9

Friday 1 November 2013 4:22

I have surgery in less than a month and I'm seriously scared of being so vulnerable. I would find a new doctor and hope that he was joking.

sweetbliss3 37

Friday 1 November 2013 4:24

mm. probably want to bring this up to someone who can fire him. killing someone isn't exactly something you take lightly, joking or not. find a new Dr asap.

MeetTheMedic 6

Friday 1 November 2013 4:26

And when the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again! Anyway, that's how I lost my medical license.

Maycontainnuts 17

Friday 1 November 2013 11:56

Sad times :(

PerSueTwo513 13

Friday 1 November 2013 4:27

Wtf? That's messed up lmao but kinda funny at same time

nursetonks 3

Friday 1 November 2013 4:28

Honesty from a nursing stand point, that's funny as hell. Good luck though

ViviMage 38

Friday 1 November 2013 4:40

Considering you are alive to type this...

PIGaming 21

Friday 1 November 2013 4:59

O_o

kumarina 35

Friday 1 November 2013 5:03

Surgeons have a really dark humor

tehdarkness 21

Friday 1 November 2013 6:06

That's ****** up. I mean I'm sure he was joking but he ought to be more professional!

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