Miscellaneous: Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant....

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By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 608

You deserved it 31 063

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Same thing different taste

Thanks, Dad

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 472

You deserved it 2 615

By Random - 25/02/2016 22:09 - United States - Tuskegee

Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 268

You deserved it 4 524

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 708

You deserved it 5 702

Happy days

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 1 181

Dream baby dream

By Anonymous - 19/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my father sobbing his eyes out in the kitchen. Apparently, I screamed, "DON'T TELL THEM I'M PREGNANT!" in my sleep last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 339

By Loho - 25/03/2009 02:46 - Canada

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 894

You deserved it 105 019

Dad joke

By bookworm94 - 27/07/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 846

You deserved it 16 749

Fight!

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 06:00

Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 251

By psychic parents, how do they work? :( - 31/07/2013 22:49 - United States - Effingham

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 705

You deserved it 47 513

Chill out

By Utterly fucked - 17/04/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, I got into a stupid argument with an internet troll, who ended up making me so furious that I threw my laptop straight through my window. My dad will be home any minute. I'm a dead man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 976

Entheatus 13

Sunday 27 March 2011 23:48

Your dad is a moron. FYL.

JockeyGirl 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 23:47

haha wtf

Comments

abell0066 0

Monday 28 March 2011 0:38

wow I would be pissed off

K00K00 4

Monday 28 March 2011 0:38

I love when people act like therapist on here! but your dad is crazy, just a bit of an overeaction!

Ravemonster 0

Monday 28 March 2011 0:39

Id slap him back and call the police!! Wat a dick face!?!

houstontxmex 0

Monday 28 March 2011 0:42

wow, I guess the thought of having a gay grandson upset him. :)

iwabo 9

Monday 28 March 2011 0:42

lulz

johnjohnfries 0

Monday 28 March 2011 0:43

oh man I'm sorry lol

amberlove94 0

Monday 28 March 2011 0:45

that.sucks.

Damn_you_shyness 0

Monday 28 March 2011 0:50

isn't your dad in mortal combat?

smitherz22 1

Monday 28 March 2011 0:51

are you gay? or are you a girl?

ViolentBears 0

Monday 28 March 2011 1:41

It wouldn't matter what sex OP is... No one can get a boy pregnant. End of story.

kornhead09 0

Monday 28 March 2011 23:23

I was thinking the same thing

rocker_chick23 27

Friday 19 September 2014 20:01

Pretty sure the word woman next to OP's name suggests she is female

ChibiGirl5 0

Monday 28 March 2011 0:51

well now he needs to buy you a new laptop

vgameson 0

Monday 28 March 2011 7:40

he probably bought that one in the first place so he had every right to break it

aminel 0

Friday 8 April 2011 3:21

lol on the generic comments

rebamoo 14

Saturday 18 July 2015 1:43

What 228?? Just because you gave something to someone doesn't give you the right to break it! What horrible logic

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 37 998

You deserved it 4 002

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 022

You deserved it 57 622

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 512

Today, a close, funny friend who has quite the attitude, received a long email from a long-time friend of hers, telling her how difficult she is. When I told her it doesn’t matter, that she is still wonderful, she went off on how bad a friend I am for saying that, and then deleted me off WhatsApp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 223

Today, my school sent me an email saying I would be transferred to another class this Monday. I told my mom about it. Turns out my drunk mom ran into my teacher at a bar and started berating her for being at the bar, instead of grading her “kid’s exam already.” I’m a high school senior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 91

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 193

You deserved it 6 100

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 604

You deserved it 8 498

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 500

You deserved it 2 086