Intimacy: Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a...

By notsobig - 29/01/2013 22:39 - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 660

You deserved it 40 993

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Same thing different taste

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 312

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 09:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 878

You deserved it 5 730

Spill the tease

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 079

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 806

You deserved it 5 456

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 685

You deserved it 60 137

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 26/05/2022 04:00

Today, I asked my girlfriend why my new package of condoms was open. When she failed to change the subject, she responded with, “This is why you’re a depressive crybaby who’ll die alone!” The fight ended with me proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 3 183

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 961

You deserved it 7 658

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 145

You deserved it 44 641

By Anonymous - 14/01/2014 16:15 - United Kingdom - Chester

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 4 978

By anun - 14/01/2014 14:06 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 7 076

bushyyboy 11

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:13

Don't ask if you can't handle the truth there big guy?

Amama_fml 30

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:16

Don't you mean Little Guy?

Comments

The_Big_Boss 20

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:43

Need some ice for that?

WearingHats 14

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:49

That'll just make it smaller.

Capt_Oblivious 10

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:49

So, it doesn't take you much in 'postage' then?

eaglerob 20

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:52

Mushroom stamp her and ask her again.

BlueFlatts 20

Wednesday 30 January 2013 8:12

Now I have no clue what the hell a mushroom stamp is, but the thought of it being represented as a fungus is revolting.

jellyghost 12

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:54

If you have to ask....

gmc_blossom 21

Wednesday 30 January 2013 7:47

"If you have to ask, you will never know. If you know, you need only to ask."

Werken247 14

Wednesday 30 January 2013 18:38

If he were in the Room of Requirements, he could ask for the Mirror of Eresad(sp) and it would look as big as his heart desires.

EmberFury 7

Friday 1 February 2013 15:05

#148 - It's actually Erised. You can remember because it's 'desire' backwards. Took me forever to realise that.

finnrambo 13

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:07

looks like you have a little problem

etchsanity1 11

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:20

As long as she has never asked if its in yet you'll probably be ok... Maybe

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:21

she could have said "the ups mans package is bigger"

mfischer 17

Wednesday 30 January 2013 4:04

As a ups guy, I find these comments hilarious and on odd boost to my ego.

slking1987 9

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:24

You're lucky. I woulda told you the truth, then said don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. She chose to avoid and spare your feelings. Be happy.

alb1414 2

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:25

You poor bastard.. : (

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:42

I remember this guy who lived on my street was always bragging that he had a huge dick. The truth came out when his girlfriend confessed that it was barely 5" erect.