Intimacy: Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a...

By notsobig - 29/01/2013 22:39 - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 657

You deserved it 40 982

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 165

You deserved it 288

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 09:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 870

You deserved it 5 729

Spill the tease

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 1 073

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 785

You deserved it 5 453

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 675

You deserved it 60 104

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 26/05/2022 04:00

Today, I asked my girlfriend why my new package of condoms was open. When she failed to change the subject, she responded with, “This is why you’re a depressive crybaby who’ll die alone!” The fight ended with me proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 3 166

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 942

You deserved it 7 654

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 145

You deserved it 44 634

By Anonymous - 14/01/2014 16:15 - United Kingdom - Chester

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 972

You deserved it 4 978

By anun - 14/01/2014 14:06 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 964

You deserved it 7 070

bushyyboy 11

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:13

Don't ask if you can't handle the truth there big guy?

Amama_fml 30

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:16

Don't you mean Little Guy?

Comments

WeezingTheJuice 5

Wednesday 30 January 2013 3:55

At least he doesn't get the I don't want to have sex. It Hurts. FML indeed.

rarememory 7

Wednesday 30 January 2013 4:07

I bet you're madder then a mufucka

Tempest151 11

Wednesday 30 January 2013 4:12

Time to buy a really nice car.

chuckles1 3

Wednesday 30 January 2013 4:27

You're hoping your girlfriend has seen enough packages to comment and compare????

karlcolt45 19

Wednesday 30 January 2013 4:34

we're in a lil pickle, dick

OhHell_itsEmily 8

Wednesday 30 January 2013 4:40

Lol. Well apparently she is still with you, so it must be good enough for her!

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 30 January 2013 5:01

New rules: Women should never ask their men if an article of clothing makes them look fat. Men should never ask if their dicks are big enough. And boys, while size matters somewhat, what you do with it, your fingers, and your tongue matter more.