Intimacy: Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex"...

By MommaAnnie - 02/05/2013 15:59 - United States - Overland Park

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 703

You deserved it 14 834

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
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Same thing different taste

Bad sex

By Undersexed - 14/09/2016 22:01 - United States - Washington

Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 965

You deserved it 2 455

By Anonymous - 10/11/2012 02:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 591

You deserved it 4 543

Technique

By Anonymous - 20/08/2020 23:02

Today, I figured out the best way to endure my wife's lack of sex drive: whenever she complains, I lose the urge myself. Works like a charm, because she complains all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 264

By Kate - 07/06/2011 07:50 - United States

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 666

You deserved it 44 205

By LoveLost - 09/07/2016 02:57

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 263

You deserved it 2 787

By mrssagdiyev - 05/03/2011 14:19 - United States

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 628

You deserved it 5 447

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 942

You deserved it 6 532

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

By Gloria Lovestar - 13/09/2019 20:00

Today, my husband explained that talking to me makes him miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 217

By Indigo_Kitten - 08/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 986

You deserved it 19 061

Pragmatic

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 14:05 - South Africa

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 976

You deserved it 4 961

Jemm_fml 29

Thursday 2 May 2013 18:56

Offended? be grateful! He actually cares about cheering you up and in the best way ever!

happylawyer 16

Thursday 2 May 2013 18:56

I like the fact that he went around your grumpiness instead of going around the neighborhood. So, YDI.

Comments

MsPhen 7

Thursday 2 May 2013 21:00

This sounds like something my boyfriend would do. I think it's hilarious, not sure why you're complaining...sounds to me like a quirky personality, not an insult. I guess it could be mean-spirited, but it sounds like he's just being goofy.

Zimmington 21

Thursday 2 May 2013 21:33

I don't know why but the fact that this comment makes 0 since made me laugh harder than FML!!

JFox 8

Thursday 2 May 2013 21:47

That sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

TrueStoryFolks 17

Thursday 2 May 2013 21:56

At least he's not cheating.

mattorama 15

Thursday 2 May 2013 22:05

He's a hell of a guy to put up with your grumpy ass for a decade.

AshaaFerreira 22

Thursday 2 May 2013 22:05

If my hubby gave me sex every time I was grumpy, it would be my permanent mood!

samanthatorres 13

Thursday 2 May 2013 22:15

Why would you be mad ? That's so sweet

ManicGypsy 22

Thursday 2 May 2013 22:21

I have noticed that I tend to get bitchy if my hubby doesn't give it to me every few days or so, so we kinda have the same thing. :) I'm happy about it, not annoyed.

aok0989 10

Thursday 2 May 2013 22:25

I think this shows he cares about you. I mean most guys have sex because it feels good with the benefit of pleasing their spouse. If you sees that you're grumpy and has sex with you specifically to cheer you up that's actually pretty sweet of him.