Intimacy: Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex"...

By MommaAnnie - 02/05/2013 15:59 - United States - Overland Park

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 703

You deserved it 14 834

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Same thing different taste

Bad sex

By Undersexed - 14/09/2016 22:01 - United States - Washington

Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 965

You deserved it 2 455

By Anonymous - 10/11/2012 02:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 591

You deserved it 4 543

Technique

By Anonymous - 20/08/2020 23:02

Today, I figured out the best way to endure my wife's lack of sex drive: whenever she complains, I lose the urge myself. Works like a charm, because she complains all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 264

By Kate - 07/06/2011 07:50 - United States

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 666

You deserved it 44 205

By LoveLost - 09/07/2016 02:57

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 263

You deserved it 2 787

By mrssagdiyev - 05/03/2011 14:19 - United States

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 628

You deserved it 5 447

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 942

You deserved it 6 532

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

By Gloria Lovestar - 13/09/2019 20:00

Today, my husband explained that talking to me makes him miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 217

By Indigo_Kitten - 08/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 986

You deserved it 19 061

Pragmatic

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 14:05 - South Africa

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 976

You deserved it 4 961

Jemm_fml 29

Thursday 2 May 2013 18:56

Offended? be grateful! He actually cares about cheering you up and in the best way ever!

happylawyer 16

Thursday 2 May 2013 18:56

I like the fact that he went around your grumpiness instead of going around the neighborhood. So, YDI.

Comments

chanellgymnast 17

Thursday 2 May 2013 19:25

Now THAT is a damn husband! He's a keeper!

alluringtatas 7

Thursday 2 May 2013 19:28

Wow your husband has sex with you to cheer you up. Your life is so terrible. Get a divorce right away.

Eivana 37

Thursday 2 May 2013 19:31

Just be glad he found a way to cheer you up!

a_lenzmeier 11

Thursday 2 May 2013 19:34

Why the hell is this an fml? Your husband tries to cheer you up through sex, and it works? Oh for the love of humanity, a husband actually tries to make his wife happy! We should have his head on a silver platter for actually giving a general shit about his wife. What a horrible monster your husband is.

mbe0027 5

Thursday 2 May 2013 19:41

You're getting laid, so your life is not ******; on the other hand, you're complaining that your intercourse in your marriage kills your grumpiness, so you don't really deserve it! What the hell do you want?

Enslaved 36

Thursday 2 May 2013 19:45

Hey, at least you benefit for it. Sex to cheer you up? He gets happy that he made you happy. Sounds like he cares more than you think.

rizzkiyoshi 19

Thursday 2 May 2013 20:01

You're still getting and enjoying sex after 10 years. Why are you complaining?

MrSarcasmic 10

Thursday 2 May 2013 20:08

I don't see the problem

perdix 29

Thursday 2 May 2013 20:13

If you are still annoyed, it doesn't sound like you are getting enough. You may need to go out and purchase some "grumpy pool boy sex" to make up the deficit.