Love: Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter...

By fmldr - 03/12/2009 11:34 - United States

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 842

You deserved it 2 786

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 278

You deserved it 6 689

By FirstDaddy - 16/06/2014 21:38 - United States - Southfield

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 293

You deserved it 4 479

By cheated - 17/09/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my daughter-in-law revealed to me that she caught my husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five years ago, and she is only telling me now because he stopped paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 620

You deserved it 2 797

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 183

Truancy

By Shauna - 08/11/2012 11:09 - United States

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 520

You deserved it 2 599

By Stan - 29/08/2011 21:19 - United States

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 745

You deserved it 9 606

Do you have an evil twin?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2017 01:44

Today, my wife's parents came over, insisting they saw me at the bar at 1:30 p.m., talked to me, and that I left with another woman. I was at work all day. I have no idea what they are talking about, I've never done this. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 268

You deserved it 373

By babyscarface - 12/06/2016 15:48 - United States - Orange

Today, I was grabbed and romantically kissed at the crowded carnival. Unfortunately, it was not by my husband but instead it was a complete stranger, in front of my husband and children. Now, my husband will not talk or believe that I didn't know the man, and my children think I'm a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 281

You deserved it 1 621

Liar, liar

By skanula414 - 31/12/2014 19:00 - Sweden - Malm?

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 438

You deserved it 49 774

Great prank ideas #47

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 23:01 - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game with my wife. During intermission, the kiss cam chose my wife and me. So, what do you expect, I kissed her, but she decided to slap me and pretend she didn't know me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 196

Panther_fml 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 20:09

Bring the dummy home... maybe then she will beleive you! FYL

sportsnut 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 20:23

haha, that blows, why not bring your daughter back to work with your wife and have your daughter point out the 'woman' you were kissing

Comments

The618princess 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 2:49

kids say thee darnedest things!

atomicbaboon 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 13:11

is the dummy hot? maybe you two could have a future together. and just think, this one won't get mad if you kiss another woman... or man if you're into that.

Faz7875 2

Friday 8 April 2011 19:58

Divorce the bitch!

skater847 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 7:46

fake because your username is fmldr and in a hospital you'd be using an ambu bag for CPR not your mouth

hateevryone 14

Thursday 23 June 2011 18:04

you should get on your daughter. its her fault

LyricaSilvan 29

Monday 23 February 2015 1:39

I'm guessing your daughter is very young. Little kids tend to say things like that because they lack a filter. But I'm sure your wife will let you explain once she calms down.