Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely... - FML

By acab93 - 10/02/2011 22:37 - United States

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 162

You deserved it 64 633

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Same thing different taste

By Dammit - 07/07/2012 04:45 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 545

You deserved it 5 870

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 19:41 - United States

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 265

You deserved it 4 359

By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 953

You deserved it 11 234

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 354

You deserved it 34 743

Ham-fisted attempt

By HamHanded - 10/03/2017 09:17

Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 665

You deserved it 716

By whymommywhy - 21/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 290

You deserved it 26 954

Soon.

By erinbarto - 17/10/2019 20:00

Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 134

By Username - 16/04/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 153

You deserved it 84 624

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 177

By katrina2d - 27/01/2015 05:43 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 208

You deserved it 29 677

Next

Top comments

Doortje 29

Friday 11 February 2011 1:09

So you thought a ham was an animal? What did you think it looked like? What sound did you think it made?

ScaryyMary 14

Friday 11 February 2011 1:18

Actually, ham is a fruit. Haven't you ever driven past a ham farm and seen the inbred Republicans plucking the ripe, juicy, pink hams from the tallest trees? I can take you to one, it's such an inspiring sight. Afterward, we can go snipe hunting, I know a GREAT spot.

Comments

player11 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 3:34

thats whats wrong with people now days

player11 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 3:34

thats whats wrong with people now days

CP1988 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 12:49

Wow. Just wow

Vaesive 0

Monday 14 February 2011 12:09

Proof that the American school system is a fail...

kduds 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 3:30

In the words of Carlos Mencia "Dur da dur".

lizliz23 0

Friday 18 February 2011 5:36

how can u relly b that stupid

KayAyBee 3

Saturday 19 February 2011 17:15

People like you are the reason we can't have nice things.

Deadmau5_FML 3

Sunday 20 February 2011 5:41

SAME!!! I figured that out a month ago. Im 16.

66mustangrocks 4

Tuesday 22 March 2011 0:45

way to be a dumbass....

sykokitti 15

Friday 25 March 2011 0:59

you can collect ssi for being retarded you know..... You should look into it...

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The Top

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

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The Top

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Today, I went to the salon to get some acrylics done. They increased the prices recently and it was more expensive than expected. I didn’t have enough money in my account to cover the service, so I planned on running out when I had the chance. I ended up running out only to faceplant in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 1 476

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

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You deserved it 4 735

Today, I'm on my period and super bloated. My husband laid down next to me and said, "Hey pretty lady, wanna have a good time? Let me stick my pin in and let some of that air out", then made a deflating noise with a hand movement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 205

Today, after my girlfriend warned me she has the condition hypersexuality and like a fool I thought I’d landed on my feet, or on my back as it were, do you have any idea how bad sex is when you have it between 5 and 10 times a day for over a year? It’s basically a chore at this point. FML

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You deserved it 668

Today, I laughed so hard at a show, I threw up all over myself. The show in question? iCarly. FML

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You deserved it 708