Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead,...

By manicmandy - 01/08/2010 20:24 - United States

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 501

You deserved it 78 575

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Same thing different taste

Slippery when wet

By anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 728

You deserved it 1 855

By Anonymous - 02/10/2018 05:00

Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 840

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 13:15 - United States

Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 507

You deserved it 6 910

By needs_another_loan - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 619

You deserved it 2 618

Freeze!

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 440

Heart of Glass

By blahblahblah - 15/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 222

By bloodyLIP - 14/05/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 283

You deserved it 14 173

Jesus saves

By WorkSexMonkey - 04/01/2010 19:20 - United States

Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 046

You deserved it 37 334

By cnkk07 - 14/10/2011 10:36 - United States

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 565

You deserved it 2 523

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 101

You deserved it 1 189

telle_16 0

Monday 2 August 2010 1:20

WTF, are you an idiot?

TeeHooligan 0

Monday 2 August 2010 1:19

ooo burnn!

Comments

alexdear1029_fml_fml 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:00

oohhh suckss haha(:

samellens 1

Monday 2 August 2010 4:10

I wouldve loved to have seen that. it must have been intense,

nldawgsccr22795 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:11

well of course wen u put water in hot oil it's gunna come back and splash everyone ones tht.... well I guess not everyone

kaxmorg 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:37

You lost me at "tht".

Honesty4U 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:15

How did you not know that? Are your parents siblings?

greenblue90 2

Monday 2 August 2010 4:15

duh!

suz5y 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:16

Don't you watch Myth Busters!!!

Riccoshea 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:20

coulda been worse lol

ipodlover1995 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:27

Wow that was a GENIUS idea! *major freaking sarcasm*

lurchin_10 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:29

YDI for being from Nebraska

BaileyBoy 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:37

Mr. Wizard you're not. FAIL.

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The Top

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 054

You deserved it 8 438

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 096

You deserved it 1 169

The Top

Today, I showed my parents the latest excerpt from my first book. It's about narratology. My dad thought I was writing about meat. He read "peaks and valleys" as "pork and veal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 177

Today, at the funeral home where I work, I asked my boss if it was time to "bring out the stiff". I didn't realize the guy's family was not only in the building, but within earshot as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 842

You deserved it 20 406

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 452

You deserved it 6 708

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 016

You deserved it 91 932

Today, I got my period while I was at work. Not one of the 15 other girls that work there had a tampon. #FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 687

You deserved it 542

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 539

You deserved it 47 390