ACAB and Cops: Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches"... - FML

By whatrights - 12/07/2009 08:59 - United States

Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 458

You deserved it 23 814

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Same thing different taste

By tgd4444 - 23/07/2011 10:29 - Malaysia

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 422

You deserved it 8 490

End me

By Daniel_rules - 17/04/2009 17:02 - United States

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 232

You deserved it 10 165

Busted

By DuckMan - 07/10/2017 23:15

Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 2 680

By Username - 31/07/2019 00:01 - Singapore

Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 234

Underage boozing

By drunk under 18 teenager - 19/08/2014 13:37 - Morocco - Marrakech

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 092

You deserved it 50 300

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 623

You deserved it 10 233

Innocent

By Boyufd - 19/01/2019 12:00

Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 139

Thanks Officer

By Selective Seatbelt Struggle - 01/12/2022 10:00

Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 923

By erockinthesuburb - 11/04/2012 16:25 - United States - Algonquin

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 930

You deserved it 41 932

By goodgrief - 05/03/2013 05:08 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 4 945

Next

Top comments

zombiepeanut 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:19

That's total abuse of power.

skullbuster 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:41

So you clicked either the 'YES' or the 'NO' button on this one? Really? When is your guest spot on Oprah? Can I send you a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can get your autograph? I'm going to frame that shit and take down my autographed cigar from Bill Clinton and put your's in it's place...

Comments

retardthinkswhat 3

Monday 13 July 2009 4:43

Ya? What the hell is your point?

KorbenDeck 5

Monday 13 July 2009 4:52

Its much like refusing to do a road side sobriety test; you have the rights to refuse, but once you do he has to arrest you and bring you back to the station

slack3r9 0

Monday 13 July 2009 4:54

heres my take, should he have refused it? possibly not, if you dont have anything to hide, why not? thing is, we dont know the situation. why did he ask for the search? was the cop being an asshole? if he said it in a demeaning "im trying to be a dick" way, then say no. however, the cops do have the right to detain you until a search warrant is approved. whether he was allowed to handcuff you, im not sure, but they can keep you there until one is approved (so if it was the middle of the night, you would have to wait until courts were open the next morning). now in response to a previous poster, if the guy looks like hes being a dick and you have objects of value in the car, i would want a written statement that any and all objects damaged will be reimbursed monetarally. a consent to search doesnt mean "destroy all my belongings". so i gotta give you a FYL and a YDI on this one for both sides

jasziiexjanae 0

Monday 13 July 2009 5:10

@# EVERYBODY! Why do you guys take these so seriously? Just read it, laugh and move on! What's with all the long paragraphs?

clyde_fml 0

Monday 13 July 2009 5:23

isn't it required by law that you have a warrant before you're allowed to search anybody?

I_am_stupid_also 6

Monday 13 July 2009 5:29

No, if they have probable case and reason to believe that evidence will be destroyed, then they can search in places consistent with the evidence they have so far. The rules are more loose outside your home than inside your home.

mobius8sucksdik 0

Monday 13 July 2009 5:45

Will someone PLEASE just kill mobius!! I am sick of listening to his constant mouth when I am trying to read the comments. It's too bad that I can't just ignore all of his inane pig-loving comments.

ClickClickCamera 0

Monday 13 July 2009 5:47

you CAN say no to a car search but that's how they get around it

mobius8sucksdik 0

Monday 13 July 2009 5:48

and now mobius is resorting to correcting spelling and grammar. Please die already you miserable little ****!

AnaMaree 0

Monday 13 July 2009 6:12

Oops?

MsSippi 0

Monday 13 July 2009 6:27

Cops suck. This reminds me of the other day at work, a cop came in and asked if a man had been trying to sell us paintings, I said yes and he asked me which way the man went. After I informed him I did not know, he assured me that he had blocked his car in so he wasn't going to get away and I thought "Thank God the police department is keeping citizens safe from 'vendors without licenses' trying to make a buck off of painting in times of economic crisis. God bless America." Sorry I guess that didn't pertain to the post very much.

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Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML

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