Intimacy: Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay...

By NeverDrinkingAgain - 09/12/2010 12:31 - Canada

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 702

You deserved it 43 796

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonomous - 07/02/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 025

You deserved it 4 721

By openmouthinsertfoot - 07/12/2010 17:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 656

You deserved it 41 904

By so_screwed - 25/09/2013 06:59 - United States - Salinas

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 508

You deserved it 13 892

By heartbroke - 03/11/2012 10:02 - United States - Erie

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 582

You deserved it 3 486

Are you serious?

By ummno - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 003

You deserved it 13 722

Attraction

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 932

Caught in 4K

By Frank S. - 17/06/2021 19:59

Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 1 940

By Katrina - 13/02/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 626

You deserved it 9 579

By eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 453

You deserved it 4 363

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 592

You deserved it 5 373

H00K_M 8

Thursday 9 December 2010 16:12

You forgot to say she's pregnant.

meganasoarus 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 16:18

isn't anyone wondering why he gave her his address?

Comments

lekiat 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:14

did you mistakenly marry her?

blake10w 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:37

hahaha that's awesome.

sublime420 11

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:38

...so what? Boot her ass out. No big deal.

Zodiac666 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:45

YDI for giving her your address.

Judus_beej 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:52

who are you homer or Flanders?

Allymeme 3

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:58

sounds like an episode of the simpsons

wurz81 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 18:15

Zebo?

Yog_Sahaw 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 18:27

YDI for still believing in such a tired phrase.

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 9 December 2010 18:47

tada?

truthbetoldxoxo 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 18:49

you stole this from a commercial. fyl for lying!!

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 655

You deserved it 532

The Top

Today, I had to explain to my Pokemon-obsessed 6-year-old cousin that Albinos are not "Shiny People". FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 702

You deserved it 546

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 240

You deserved it 5 347

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 319

Today, I found out that my crush had a girlfriend. The way I found it out? He hugged me from behind, calling her name and saying darling, etc. When I turned around in shock, he quickly backed away and said, "Sorry , I thought you were someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 107

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 042

You deserved it 31 565

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get frisky when the Furby Party Rocker all the way across the room started going off on its own and completely killed the mood. I took the batteries out of the little bastard immediately, but the mood was lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 914

You deserved it 821