Intimacy: Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay...

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By NeverDrinkingAgain - 09/12/2010 12:31 - Canada

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 705

You deserved it 43 802

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Same thing different taste

By anonomous - 07/02/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 034

You deserved it 4 724

By openmouthinsertfoot - 07/12/2010 17:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 661

You deserved it 41 931

By so_screwed - 25/09/2013 06:59 - United States - Salinas

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 514

You deserved it 13 893

By heartbroke - 03/11/2012 10:02 - United States - Erie

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 589

You deserved it 3 491

Are you serious?

By ummno - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 016

You deserved it 13 736

Attraction

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 501

You deserved it 38 944

Caught in 4K

By Frank S. - 17/06/2021 19:59

Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 1 964

Breaking news

By Katrina - 13/02/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 704

You deserved it 9 603

By eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 457

You deserved it 4 365

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 607

You deserved it 5 373

H00K_M 8

Thursday 9 December 2010 16:12

You forgot to say she's pregnant.

meganasoarus 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 16:18

isn't anyone wondering why he gave her his address?

Comments

lekiat 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:14

did you mistakenly marry her?

blake10w 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:37

hahaha that's awesome.

sublime420 11

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:38

...so what? Boot her ass out. No big deal.

Zodiac666 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:45

YDI for giving her your address.

Judus_beej 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:52

who are you homer or Flanders?

Allymeme 3

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:58

sounds like an episode of the simpsons

wurz81 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 18:15

Zebo?

Yog_Sahaw 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 18:27

YDI for still believing in such a tired phrase.

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 9 December 2010 18:47

tada?

truthbetoldxoxo 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 18:49

you stole this from a commercial. fyl for lying!!

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 513

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

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You deserved it 35 683

The Top

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You deserved it 4 081

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I agree, your life sucks 5 085

You deserved it 1 204

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I agree, your life sucks 14 519

You deserved it 2 683

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I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 1 090

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I agree, your life sucks 40 726

You deserved it 4 823

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I agree, your life sucks 40 416

You deserved it 8 262