Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth... - FML

By ow - 17/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 251

You deserved it 69 794

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Same thing different taste

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 346

You deserved it 29 705

By farhia97 - 08/11/2011 02:14 - United States

Today, I learned how much it hurts to put a mint up your nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 232

You deserved it 54 811

By ouch - 03/01/2011 00:36 - United States

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 631

You deserved it 2 989

By Millian2 - 08/04/2012 02:10 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 028

You deserved it 3 714

By Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 274

You deserved it 49 090

DIY

By liver - 19/03/2012 00:51 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 891

You deserved it 3 598

By anthony512 - 24/05/2013 16:08 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 034

You deserved it 12 766

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 378

You deserved it 2 648

By bloodyLIP - 14/05/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 285

You deserved it 14 173

But… why?

By Fmylife - 06/07/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 258

You deserved it 120 991

Next

Top comments

mikeyforge 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 12:13

OH NO! WHO KNEW TAKING OFF DUCK TAPE HURTS!!!

armada_fml 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 12:15

I really hope you aren't over the age of 12.

Comments

pjfromok 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 23:38

Sounds like a fetish to me!!! OP likes to be bound and gagged before........!!! ;)

shaboopalaboopi 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 7:45

are you serious? it does?wtf?!

roflrofl2009 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 8:13

Especially if you have a mustache. Fail much?

Halive 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 2:46

So are you retarded or just born gay? Cause you are definitely a retarded child who doesn't get out much.

brainiac94 0

Friday 22 January 2010 21:43

dumbass

manstie 1

Sunday 24 January 2010 7:09

Americans are so stupid.

lmfaoxkatie 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 18:04

*hillbilly voice* well pick me up and throw me down, who woulda thunk that !

Vexlor 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 17:59

wow...Just wow... How is that even an FML? That doesn't ruin your life does it? Didn't think so. Also, can someone tell me why people use gay in the sense of stupid? (Referring to #121) Go look in a dictionary for once. Its starting to piss me off hearing people call things gay.

Izzy322 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 21:19

cuz it is ******

strawberrymuffin_fml 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 2:10

lol i have done that before and yes it does hurt

JohnCleese 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 7:04

This belongs on http://learnfrommyfail.com/

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The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 217

You deserved it 3 671

Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 642

You deserved it 11 483

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 382

You deserved it 2 198

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 5 845

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 427

You deserved it 4 881

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 282

You deserved it 4 387