Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth...

By ow - 17/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 251

You deserved it 69 794

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Same thing different taste

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 346

You deserved it 29 705

By farhia97 - 08/11/2011 02:14 - United States

Today, I learned how much it hurts to put a mint up your nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 232

You deserved it 54 811

By ouch - 03/01/2011 00:36 - United States

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 631

You deserved it 2 989

By Millian2 - 08/04/2012 02:10 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 028

You deserved it 3 714

By Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 274

You deserved it 49 090

DIY

By liver - 19/03/2012 00:51 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 891

You deserved it 3 598

By anthony512 - 24/05/2013 16:08 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 034

You deserved it 12 766

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 378

You deserved it 2 648

By bloodyLIP - 14/05/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 285

You deserved it 14 173

But… why?

By Fmylife - 06/07/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 258

You deserved it 120 991

mikeyforge 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 12:13

OH NO! WHO KNEW TAKING OFF DUCK TAPE HURTS!!!

armada_fml 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 12:15

I really hope you aren't over the age of 12.

Comments

be_the_HERO 0

Monday 18 January 2010 2:36

Dumb shit.

joeyLoo 0

Monday 18 January 2010 2:52

omg! you're so ******* stupid that it's. making me mad, WTF, why would you do that?!?!

Voids 0

Monday 18 January 2010 2:55

It actually doesn't hurt, you're just a wuss.

iEmmiChan 0

Monday 18 January 2010 3:21

LMFAO~ I've done that before!!!! It kinda hurts :/ but on that bright side it's like getting a free lip wax hahaha xD

Bluestribute 0

Monday 18 January 2010 3:34

This sounds like me

dannyboy66 7

Monday 18 January 2010 4:20

I met someone like you he stabbed his own leg to c wat it feels like he wasn't happy

bernie69 0

Monday 18 January 2010 4:49

no shit ... get the rest of ur body waxed while ur at it

mmhmm138 0

Monday 18 January 2010 5:42

THIS IS WHY MODERN WARFARE 2 WAS INVENTED

RockRox12 0

Monday 18 January 2010 6:25

Omfg kids learn this kind of stuff on Barney

hrtstealer 0

Monday 18 January 2010 8:54

ydi loser.

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The Top

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 82

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, I was yet again cat-called while out jogging, with many men calling me "sexy lady" and even commenting on my "birthing hips", all because I chose to wear compression pants. I'm not even a woman, I'm just a guy with a really big butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 283

Today, my wife cancelled on our date we had planned for over a month. It would have been our first one-on-one date since the birth of our first child. Our child is over 13 months old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 416

You deserved it 1 293

Today, I’m at a low point. I sank low enough to ask a coworker I don’t even like for a pity shag to boost my self esteem. The sex was great, excellent even, but when he left this morning I now feel even lower because I feel cheap and nasty, and I almost had to beg for someone to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 1 929

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my roommates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 801

You deserved it 12 062

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 521

You deserved it 4 183

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 631

You deserved it 19 528

Same thing different taste

DIY

But… why?

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