Miscellaneous: Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I...

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By Fatass - 18/04/2014 05:37 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 709

You deserved it 13 883

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Same thing different taste

By candice - 01/11/2011 09:09 - Reserved

Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 529

You deserved it 46 609

Candy Andy

By bad karma - 21/11/2011 14:34 - United States

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 636

You deserved it 46 248

Liar !

By Anonymous - 14/03/2020 09:00

Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 1 300

Feed me and shut up

By a fatty - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 798

You deserved it 36 632

By Wino - 05/12/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 793

You deserved it 34 557

Bulk buying

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 20:00 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I picked up my online grocery order. The clerk asked about the party, because he assumed I was having one because of all the ice cream I'd ordered. I'm bulimic and everything was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 413

Party for One!

By Sam - 08/12/2017 01:30

Today, at the supermarket, I bought a cake and had my friend's name put on it. It wasn't anyone's birthday, I just wanted to feel less ashamed about buying a whole cake for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 003

You deserved it 2 152

By Anonymous - 26/04/2011 13:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 188

You deserved it 51 658

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 036

You deserved it 6 543

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 433

You deserved it 43 498

BubbleGrunge 18

Friday 18 April 2014 18:11

Why lie OP? If I was that cashier I wouldn't judge you; I'd be jealous you are buying all that candy. Got anything sour??? Share the wealth!

dimerneckel 22

Friday 18 April 2014 18:11

They know that that is what you are doing with all that candy... You aren't fooling anyone

Comments

elektron_fml 3

Monday 21 April 2014 22:51

i promise your cashier doesn't give a shit either way

RKD 23

Tuesday 22 April 2014 19:05

Just don't kick yourself, OP!

krazi_gurl_ 3

Tuesday 22 April 2014 22:46

I think we all do that sometimes!

darkfireflame 15

Thursday 24 April 2014 20:18

Yeah don't lie OP, they probably have seen more pathetic people come through than you. Though be careful with all that candy, you'll get sick.

JKPwnage 27

Wednesday 30 April 2014 13:44

Why is this an FML? I probably would've done the same thing.

at0micmin3r 23

Thursday 22 May 2014 8:29

YDI for lying. Eating ONE candy bar won't kill you. You can lose weight and still enjoy REAL candy! Just don't eat a whole box. inb4: I'm obese myself and am currently doing something about it: Down 60 LBS and counting. So no excuses.