By Anonymous - 01/07/2016 18:24 - United States - Mission

Spicy
Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 808
You deserved it 5 256

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Yeah if he slipped it in your ass he knew what he was doing. Secondly you can't just "slip it" in the ass without proper lube anyway. You should've felt him knocking at the back door and then you could've guided him to the front. If he slipped it in your ass, then he's not a virgin. You got scammed.

If you've masturbated before you actually had sex with him, you should tell him what you like and help him around. If he was also a virgin or pretty inexperienced he might not know his way around your lady bits

Comments

I've had that happen to me and it's definitely not something they can just accidentally slip into. It takes force to do that especially with no lube. I didn’t believe it was an accident when it happened to me and neither should you. That's a serious violation of respect and trust. Definitely not a keeper IMO

polsen4273 8

You don't know if they were using lub or not, and the fact that it is his first time, I seriously doubt he would be going there on purpose. It can happen by accident, if lub is involved he may not realize, especially since he is a virgin and doesn't know what a ****** feels like. Don't jump to conclusions based on your personal history.

If people took relationship advice from the people on FML no one would have a significant other. Just because he made one mistake you think they should get a divorce? smh

Imo stands for in my opinion, she's allowed to have one too

polsen4273 8

If he is a virgin, he doesnt know wtf he is doing. I can say I did the same thing once accidentally. We were in the shower so there was lots of water, but I really didn't know what had happened until she said something. When you are having sex with a virgin guy, you can't expect him to know what he is doing. Don't give him a lot of shit for screwing up, having good sex for you too will need communication and practice. And lots and lots of practice with communication. Good luck OP, you are going about a relationship the hard way, so it will take extra effort to make it work, but maybe worth the payoff ):

water is a terrible lubricant, so stop thinking that is what helped you.

As mentioned, water makes it less lubricated not more. Besides, don't people watch **** since early teens? Distinguishing between a ****** and anus has nothing to do with inexperience. It is basic (REALLY BASIC) knowledge about human body.

As someone who is twenty years old and has never viewed ****, I learned on the go. On the other hand, I'm not 100% a twat, so I was able to differentiate the anus from everything else.

Gullible would describe 99.9% of these responses. This is clearly made up.

Meh, I could definitely see this happening.

The first time pretty much always sucks, married or not. This is why I never understand the whole waiting until marriage thing but hey, each to their own. At least you have a lot to look forward to!

Yes, it is possible to not know what you're doing this badly. I had an ex med worker telling me how they seriosly got a couple who had managed to get the thing up the *urethra* all along without either realizing something was off. They were there for 'infertility'...

This made me cringe, wouldn't that be incredibly uncomfortable and probably hurt? This is why sex ed is not only needed, but should be mandatory.

Ouuuccchhh... I believe that takes a special kind of stupid. Anyone who's had a catheter, which is a fraction the size of even the smallest penis, knows how badly that sucks. The fact that this woman supposedly tried this more than once screams either bullshit or maybe she was mentally challenged.

Up the urethra? But the urethra is so incredibly small, surely that couldn't even happen?!

My God, that made me cross my legs out of sympathy pain. That's not the first time I've encountered someone who thought the urethra and the vaginal canal were the same, but this is the first I've heard of anyone acting on it....

While I respect your right to choose, personally I think waiting 'till marriage to have sex is probably one of the stupidest things a person can do. Sex is such a large part of a relationship that if you aren't compatible you should know that before entering into marriage. More so, first times suck regardless of the status of the relationship. Being marriage doesn't change how it will feels. First times are not romantic or special, they either hurt or you feel nothing and if the guy's inexperienced too then it's over in less than a minute. Sex needs experience to feel good and last long enough. I certainly would not have wanted to spend my wedding night feeling awkward and uncomfortable. I'd much rather not be able to walk the next day because I was so satisfied due to my experience and knowledge of mine and my partner's body and needs. I sincerely hope you got past this mishap and have moved on to a fulfilling sexual relationship. I'm also having trouble with how this is actually possible. Unless you had your legs on his shoulders or were doing it from behind, how could it slip in? And more so, how much slipped in? Are we talking just the tip or the whole hog? The former being fairly easy to do, that's happen to me once or twice, and the later being next to impossible without preparation and lubrication. And I'm sorry but there is a big difference between a ****** and an anus, how could he not know? Education is always a must.

Well he certainly does not sound like a Virginia. Sorry OP it sounds like he doesn't respect you. Or he may just be extremely dim but I doubt that since he made a corny excuse for heat he did.

Squeepy 19

I agree, he sounds much more like a Florida to me.

ndnpride88 25

Congratulations on your wedding. Hopefully the sex part gets better as time passes.

Cut the guy some slack...no one is born knowing this! You too!

If none of us were born knowing this, how in the hell are we all here?!

I may not be born knowing, but it should be pretty ******* easy to tell the difference between the anus and the ******.