By Anonymous - 01/07/2016 18:24 - United States - Mission

Spicy
Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 808
You deserved it 5 256
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Globrorey 3

Yeah if he slipped it in your ass he knew what he was doing. Secondly you can't just "slip it" in the ass without proper lube anyway. You should've felt him knocking at the back door and then you could've guided him to the front. If he slipped it in your ass, then he's not a virgin. You got scammed.

465 15
sadblufly 18

If you've masturbated before you actually had sex with him, you should tell him what you like and help him around. If he was also a virgin or pretty inexperienced he might not know his way around your lady bits

272 16

Comments

swaddison 11

I feel like that's a little overdramatic, it's possible it just happened accidentally.

8 12
SauceySarah 30

How did he not know which hole was which? It's pretty obvious..

7 0
withered 30

Ugh. Such ignorance makes me cringe. I'd play the game "spot the tiny penis" but it's already over. It's like when people with tiny packages blame women's ****** for "being big". But hey, whatever makes people like you feel better.

2 1
amos_katelyn 7

Yeah there's no way he's a virgin if he "accidentally slipped in your ass" he knows what he's doing.

5 0
FrizzyGuide 8

Welp that's a pain in the ass.

4 1
andrmac 25

Giving a guiding hand would have been a good move if he's really that clueless, and maybe in the future as well if he was just playing dumb and wanted to try the backdoor instead, but yes FYL for the unexpected journey.

2 0
jtsmommy 11

My first time was like that, ( not the married part though, oops) so don't feel too bad OP it's surprising how many virgin men don't understand a woman's anatomy, I guess.

1 0
Badkarma4u 17

Oh come on he was probably face to face with her trying to guide it with his hand. Do youbreally think a guy on his honeymoon for his first time is going to try to trick his new wife into doing something he's never done either?

1 4
BrandiCandi94 4

Waiting to have sex until marriage is one of the stupidest things you could possibly do. Sexual incompatibility ruins marriages, and just from this post, you can tell that's where it's heading. YDI.

5 2