Intimacy: Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the...

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 10:50 - United States

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 511

You deserved it 9 831

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 229

By smokecloud_ - 30/12/2013 21:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 293

You deserved it 5 380

By The Rock's arse - 04/07/2014 20:29 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 158

You deserved it 7 433

By allyshah - 20/02/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching TV when an infomercial for "Male enhancement" came on. As I grabbed my phone, my girlfriend said, "Oh honey, don't buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 656

You deserved it 6 375

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 515

You deserved it 15 209

Caught in the act

By MeAgainDr - 08/08/2023 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 762

By Joplin - 13/09/2010 19:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 977

You deserved it 6 228

By Anonymous - 23/11/2017 01:30

Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 484

You deserved it 776

Addicted

By oddgrrl99 - 23/07/2013 22:42 - United States - Portage

Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 547

You deserved it 4 757

By fishruinsex - 08/12/2010 08:46

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 365

You deserved it 6 001

Renesaga 8

Monday 11 October 2010 19:15

Get it on one condition: It's gotta be $19.95

TheComputerGuy96 16

Monday 11 October 2010 19:33

Your tv doesn't even have a power button?????? Unplugging it might be dangerous, but a tv without a physical power button is weird. (And I have an LCD tv)

Comments

KattAlex 4

Monday 11 October 2010 23:32

Turn the tv off and read a book. I recommend To Kill A Mockingbird.

jpest17 5

Tuesday 12 October 2010 1:55

that book is over rated, read pillars of the earth.

mrahhhhh 21

Tuesday 12 October 2010 5:00

#63 is right, that book is nowhere near as good as it's made to seem. I recommend one of the following books and/or short story collections: The End of Eternity The Robots of Dawn Congo The Silent Assasin The Martian Chronicles A Clockwork Orange Kramer vs. Kramer

Nyc__Princess 0

Monday 11 October 2010 23:43

Then get it ! Only if it's $19.95 (:

HighlandShadows 48

Monday 4 January 2016 21:45

OP might do better to save that $19.95 for when they get around to advertising the universal remotes.

birds_fml 7

Monday 11 October 2010 23:46

I know, this may come to a shock to some people, but: YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH TV! OMG! I know! Isn't that CRAZY?! There really ARE other things to do than sit on your ass and watch tv! Read a book! Take a walk! Daydream! YDI.

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 11 October 2010 23:56

Today, I lost the remote control to my new Pos-T-Vac penis pump. It's been stuck on my crotch for an hour now. I used to be a female, but now my uterus has everted. This did, however, lead me to finding the TV remote I lost last week. FML

QwertyMcNugget 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 0:12

This gave me a giggle. XD

lancegonyeau 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 0:22

dumb fuc**** go to Wal-Mart and buy a remote

llamalpaca382 13

Tuesday 31 May 2011 3:27

**** only has one 'k', thank you.

Socks91 16

Tuesday 12 October 2010 0:33

YDI for buying a shit TV with no buttons, and a shit remote!

azzaj 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 1:01

Believe it or not, watching TV isn't the only thing you could be doing...

random210 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 1:10

she could be using that pump ;)

Slimma 20

Tuesday 12 October 2010 1:21

That's dumb. Could easily just turn off the tv instead of "watching it for a whole hour." And if there isn't a button on the tv to turn it off... unplug it. Problem solved.