Intimacy: Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk...

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 01:29 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 52 571

You deserved it 5 762

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Same thing different taste

Dumbasses

By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 21:05 - United States - Nevada

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 508

You deserved it 6 348

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 507

You deserved it 2 898

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 696

You deserved it 5 204

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 659

You deserved it 3 338

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 208

You deserved it 4 187

By jared77 - 02/08/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 763

You deserved it 2 875

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 449

You deserved it 3 063

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 135

You deserved it 3 210

Cringe

By iamshrimpy - 08/01/2010 06:24 - Canada

Today, I logged onto Facebook to a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 089

You deserved it 6 032

momsquared 10

Saturday 25 January 2014 12:20

At least she still cares about your health.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Saturday 25 January 2014 12:23

Even senile, she has your best interest at heart :) I think that's sweet

Comments

lil_mars 1

Saturday 25 January 2014 14:19

WTF is up with this "5ML" I keep seeing ?!?!

pwnman 33

Saturday 25 January 2014 14:53

It's to celebrate the 5th year of FML's birth.

pink_lightning 16

Saturday 25 January 2014 15:58

FML's life* (-:

rockhead1270 5

Saturday 25 January 2014 15:01

Are you a virgin?

weveallbeenthere 30

Saturday 25 January 2014 15:08

she's doing it because she cases,. mental health issues can get really bad. if she is getting there GET HER HELP.

Redvelvet16 11

Saturday 25 January 2014 15:24

Today you are a 34 year old male who cannot delete posts on his timeline from his senile mama on Facebook. :)

Girlie7 11

Saturday 25 January 2014 15:45

Wow ,I wish I was your friend in fb;)

juan3611 14

Saturday 25 January 2014 15:47

Hide it from your time line so no one can see :D

daisylokes 16

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:00

I think your mother wants you to get a woman already , obviously she wants grandkids.

israelnotjacob 20

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:28

So what did you learn?

Neesalun 20

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:46

At least you got your's. My mom still hasn't given me mine and I'm 42.

kmartFTW 12

Saturday 25 January 2014 17:08

You can hide the post from everyone on your time line except her so she believes everyone can still see it! Sorry OP

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 676

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I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 365

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 47 201

You deserved it 8 205

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I agree, your life sucks 27 698

You deserved it 2 688

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I agree, your life sucks 56 548

You deserved it 5 615

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I agree, your life sucks 40 276

You deserved it 15 328

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I agree, your life sucks 12 155

You deserved it 27 073

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I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 67