Intimacy: Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk... - FML

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 01:29 - United States - Petaluma

Spicy

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 52 571

You deserved it 5 762

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Same thing different taste

Dumbasses

By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 21:05 - United States - Nevada

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 508

You deserved it 6 348

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 507

You deserved it 2 898

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Spicy

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 696

You deserved it 5 204

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 659

You deserved it 3 338

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Spicy

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 208

You deserved it 4 187

By jared77 - 02/08/2011 16:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 763

You deserved it 2 875

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 449

You deserved it 3 063

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 135

You deserved it 3 210

Cringe

By iamshrimpy - 08/01/2010 06:24 - Canada

Today, I logged onto Facebook to a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 089

You deserved it 6 032

Next

Top comments

momsquared 10

Saturday 25 January 2014 12:20

At least she still cares about your health.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Saturday 25 January 2014 12:23

Even senile, she has your best interest at heart :) I think that's sweet

Comments

ShiiteDisturber 9

Saturday 25 January 2014 17:18

At least you didn't have to give her the sex talk.

pere 11

Saturday 25 January 2014 17:22

5YL

pancake_viking 9

Saturday 25 January 2014 17:58

5ML? As in milliliters?

buttcramp 21

Saturday 25 January 2014 18:27

just be happy she still knows who you are, cares for you, etc.. you're still her little boy and I think that's sweet. yes, it sucks, but in the grand scheme of things it's gonna be okay.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 25 January 2014 18:34

I bet you removed that immediately...hope no one really saw it...

TopHatNinja68 6

Saturday 25 January 2014 19:05

Ur still her little baby

nattlecakes 19

Saturday 25 January 2014 19:36

YDI for bad grammar

tehdarkness 21

Saturday 25 January 2014 23:29

You can make it so certain people cannot write on your wall.

Nicole819 11

Sunday 26 January 2014 2:09

maybe she thinks you'll forever be her little boy lol but I think she missed the point you grew up a long time ago .

mata2 7

Sunday 26 January 2014 4:41

I'm almost 24 never had the talk my gen is all about TV and internet lazy parents. BTW sorry to hear OP

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