Animals: Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain...

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 07:27 - South Africa

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 097

You deserved it 6 209

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Same thing different taste

By abi_vet_student - 13/02/2009 12:42 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 869

You deserved it 7 088

By vetstudentdream - 15/04/2017 22:00 - Australia - Bellbowrie

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 787

You deserved it 837

By anonymous - 11/11/2018 13:30

Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 257

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 09:27 - Australia

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 103

You deserved it 2 815

Glamorous...

By KlutzyFarmGirl - 12/06/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 368

You deserved it 371

By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 207

You deserved it 5 117

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 294

I love the countryside

By disturbed - 01/06/2014 01:53 - Ireland

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 999

You deserved it 5 708

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - 20/12/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 11 675

By Anonymous - 19/10/2016 10:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 438

You deserved it 2 492

dtbomb 3

Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:07

What a shitty job. lol

SayItNicely 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:08

Do you happen to work at the same place as the person who asked for a bottle of milk? Then that wouldn't seem so weird...

Comments

givemechange 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 18:43

This FML seriously made my day.

disney_blonde 16

Wednesday 20 April 2011 19:23

That's one way to get pink eye...

serenaluvspie 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 20:46

ah haha that was funny feel bad for u :)

LPEasierToRn 3

Wednesday 20 April 2011 20:47

Wouldn't you've seen that coming? ahaha

ATSViper 15

Wednesday 20 April 2011 20:56

lol

menm0i 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 20:59

Ewww pink eye!

anaruk27 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 21:13

pink eye to the max

spinny12345 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 22:10

So... You were a student vet today... what does that make you tomorrow?

werzal 5

Friday 22 April 2011 13:26

like!! lmao

princess0830 3

Wednesday 20 April 2011 22:31

wow thats shitty lol seriously fyl

EmElle88 9

Wednesday 20 April 2011 23:13

well, I guess if someone was gonna inject your boob, you'd be a bit scared. possibly scared sh*tless...

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Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 554

Nooooo, I'm not interviewing Candy Staton, and nooooo I'm not going to talk about the Avengers but guys this isn't 9gag so let me introduce you to the fresh new artist we're welcoming today! She's a lovely lady who lives in Vancouver and she's the au...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my coworker, broke up with me. I agreed to stay professional and civil with him during our work hours. However, he decided to report me for "sexual harassment" and "stalking." He showed them the "evidence." I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 164

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 830

You deserved it 43 249

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 652

You deserved it 86 720

Today, my girlfriend asked why we weren't married yet. I guess I don't find her alcoholism, lack of income, constant insults, references to cheating, and general entitlement behaviour very wifey material. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 1 145

Today, the only woman in my life who has been honest with me and will give me a straight answer is iPhone’s Siri. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 208

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 140

You deserved it 45 300

Same thing different taste

Glamorous...

I love the countryside

Nature is healing

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