Animals: Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain...

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 07:27 - South Africa

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 097

You deserved it 6 209

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Same thing different taste

By abi_vet_student - 13/02/2009 12:42 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 869

You deserved it 7 088

By vetstudentdream - 15/04/2017 22:00 - Australia - Bellbowrie

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 787

You deserved it 837

By anonymous - 11/11/2018 13:30

Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 257

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 09:27 - Australia

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 103

You deserved it 2 815

Glamorous...

By KlutzyFarmGirl - 12/06/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 368

You deserved it 371

By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 207

You deserved it 5 117

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 294

I love the countryside

By disturbed - 01/06/2014 01:53 - Ireland

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 999

You deserved it 5 708

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - 20/12/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 11 675

By Anonymous - 19/10/2016 10:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 438

You deserved it 2 492

dtbomb 3

Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:07

What a shitty job. lol

SayItNicely 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:08

Do you happen to work at the same place as the person who asked for a bottle of milk? Then that wouldn't seem so weird...

Comments

funallthetime 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 22:13

mmmm. ewwy

WOGBRO 6

Thursday 21 April 2011 23:36

I pissed my self when I read this.

Soonersfan1968_fml 0

Friday 22 April 2011 5:38

lmao...fyl, but at least it didn't shit in your mouth!

BeeBeeb 0

Friday 22 April 2011 12:08

At least it wasn't your right eye.

werzal 5

Friday 22 April 2011 13:28

all these 'pink eye' comments and no 'brown eye' ones?!?

decomposerix 0

Friday 22 April 2011 16:47

kill the damn cow

kevinsp 0

Friday 22 April 2011 23:28

now that's how you get Pink Eye!

hr1734 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 1:02

guess the cow can fire without aiming and still get the shot right.. lol

girl_du_soleil 6

Saturday 23 April 2011 8:45

I hope you don't get pink eye. Did it burn?

varkey 7

Saturday 23 April 2011 22:34

wow that sucks. FYL

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I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 15

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

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The Top

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

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You deserved it 19 407

Today, I found a USB stick my husband was hiding. I checked and it had hundreds of pictures of girls from porn sites and Instagram. That wasn’t the issue. Hidden in those pictures was a pic of his ex-girlfriend, with whom he has not been with past 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 261

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 563

You deserved it 134 731

Today, my dog has a better social life than I do, since he's been invited to more doggy birthday parties than I've been invited to regular parties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 151

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I agree, your life sucks 31 916

You deserved it 3 072

Today, honestly, I feel like my life has lost meaning. At some certain point I have lost all emotion and am just covering myself with a mask of happiness. It feels like I’m just trying to escape my own reality, with my parents on the verge of divorce. Somewhere in the last few months it’s been getting worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 133

Same thing different taste

Glamorous...

I love the countryside

Nature is healing

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