Animals: Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain...

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 07:27 - South Africa

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 097

You deserved it 6 209

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Same thing different taste

By abi_vet_student - 13/02/2009 12:42 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 869

You deserved it 7 088

By vetstudentdream - 15/04/2017 22:00 - Australia - Bellbowrie

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 787

You deserved it 837

By anonymous - 11/11/2018 13:30

Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 257

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 09:27 - Australia

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 103

You deserved it 2 815

Glamorous...

By KlutzyFarmGirl - 12/06/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 368

You deserved it 371

By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 207

You deserved it 5 117

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 294

I love the countryside

By disturbed - 01/06/2014 01:53 - Ireland

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 999

You deserved it 5 708

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - 20/12/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 11 675

By Anonymous - 19/10/2016 10:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 438

You deserved it 2 492

dtbomb 3

Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:07

What a shitty job. lol

SayItNicely 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:08

Do you happen to work at the same place as the person who asked for a bottle of milk? Then that wouldn't seem so weird...

Comments

theUBERcomment 1

Thursday 21 April 2011 1:14

You just got dumped. lol

rayluvsu_59 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 1:46

uh dude. you go from the side, not the ass

lolmyendoff456 7

Thursday 21 April 2011 2:54

lmao lesson learned?

hetzer127 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 3:42

hahaha shitfaced.... happy 4/20

zSapphire15 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 4:11

So I was eating ice cream while reading FML. Then I read this... Threw up for 45 minutes LOL Anyways, I feel so sorry for you {:

darlingdollie 24

Thursday 21 April 2011 4:43

What are you tomorrow?

Nafan01 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 5:33

pink eye

Fuckedyourlifean 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 6:14

bulls eye!

joyyluvsya 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 6:32

ewwww

MJ_Goobs_Xx 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 7:05

that must be an extreme case of pink eye XD ydi for practically sticking your head up the cows ass while she dies her business

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The Top

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 668

You deserved it 3 982

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 096

You deserved it 1 169

The Top

Today, my husband sold a bunch of stuff from our garage to buy himself the latest Xbox. Unfortunately, the clown also sold the bicycle I don’t ride anymore. It was my nana’s vintage bicycle, with original wicker basket, worth several thousand to collectors. He accepted £80 for it on Facebook Marketplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 231

Today, I had the best time of my life with the girl of my dreams. I took her out to lunch, we went to the beach to jetski and had a romantic walk. It was the perfect day. Then, in the evening, I had to go home to my boring wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 4 599

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 550

You deserved it 4 567

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 305

You deserved it 225

Today, I finally got my forklift license after training for a week. Almost eight hours later, I lost my license by not lowering my forks, crashing into and destroying four overhead light fixtures which cost more than $500 in damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 3 012

Today, after six weeks of dealing with various exterminators, my roommate and I were about to toast to what we were told was a wasp-free room. That's when we noticed several much smaller wasps flying around. Not only is our wasp problem not solved, but our room is a wasp breeding ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 100

You deserved it 1 463

Same thing different taste

Glamorous...

I love the countryside

Nature is healing

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