Money: Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had...

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 20:38 - United States

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 269

You deserved it 4 664

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 679

You deserved it 2 410

By itscalledaphonecontractretards - 09/08/2016 17:54 - United States

Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 575

You deserved it 1 767

"Shit ticket for one"

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 15:00

Today, my household ran out of toilet paper so we have to shower after every dump. My mom just confessed that she does in fact have money for shit tickets, but won't buy any because it's the only way she can get my brother to shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 202

You deserved it 278

By kissandcontrol01 - 10/10/2015 04:22 - United States - Hanford

Today, I decided to take a well-deserved shower. When I let my hair down, twenty six cents fell onto the floor. I have no idea how they got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 610

You deserved it 4 148

By GabyLeann - 29/09/2015 02:01 - United States

Today, while showering, I broke the cap off the shampoo. Not my shampoo, my roommate's. The $60 shampoo I swore I wouldn't touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 315

You deserved it 34 802

Bubbles

By soapgirl - 13/08/2009 16:07 - Philippines

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 431

You deserved it 65 042

By killme - 11/11/2014 17:43 - United States - Warner Robins

Today, after nearly two weeks of being stressed out due to financial issues, I decided to spend my last 4 dollars on stress-relieving body wash. Apparently this particular body wash causes me to break out in hives and now I have no money for rash cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 952

You deserved it 7 140

Poor planning

By Anonymous - 18/11/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I was trying to be extra productive and washed all my clothes at once, including my bedding. I hung everything to dry and only realized too late that I had no dry sheets to sleep in. I ended up sleeping on a bare mattress, wrapped in a bath towel, like some kind of sad burrito. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 410

Drying times

By helplesssssss - 07/08/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 153

You deserved it 15 168

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 152

You deserved it 42 319

BloodWiper 3

Sunday 22 January 2012 2:26

Was the camera guy following you?

sarbear293 4

Sunday 22 January 2012 2:31

If those things do what they say they do that doesn't sound like a problem to me!

Comments

kay2810 9

Sunday 22 January 2012 3:37

I want free ShamWow! I bet that's better then a towel ;)

JesseyHitman 7

Sunday 22 January 2012 17:28

Haha awe, love your profile!

nabila21 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 3:39

Why slowly? ... Another moment of awkwardness created by me...

pepperlover89 5

Sunday 22 January 2012 3:49

maybe her towels are dirty and she doesn't have the money to buy laundry detergent. chin up love. things will get better.

radiculous 1

Sunday 22 January 2012 22:01

Use any old ******* shirt - or t-shirt or what ever...

Vball6 19

Sunday 22 January 2012 3:52

Sham-woohoo!

fuzzybear14 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 3:52

dont u hav atleast 1 towel?

herpderpjones 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 3:53

So you didn't already own a towel?

javierb88 3

Sunday 22 January 2012 3:55

To save even more during these tough economic times dry up the sham wow and reuse it as a protective pad

mama2b3 20

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:07

At least you had that? I would think a sham-wow would work better than a regular towel anyway :)

goinghard101 4

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:13

Haha that made me laugh I'm sorry ur sadness brings me laughter:/

chocodoombot 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:22

You can obviously afford means of accessing this website, so what is preventing you from spending $1 on a crappy towel at Walmart?

Katastrophe101 8

Sunday 22 January 2012 9:01

There's this awesome place called the library. Or even Starbucks or McDonald's.

Mons_fml 27

Tuesday 26 March 2013 9:20

Theres this cool thing called "leaching off of your neighbours 100mb/s connection. They have more than enogth, they can share!

Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 687

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 666

You deserved it 3 982

The Top

Today, I was texting a girl I was interested in and we exchanged Instagram names. She ghosted me right after. She's the fourth girl to have done this to me in the past month. I guess I'm unattractive, but at least I'm good at texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 817

You deserved it 413

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 656

You deserved it 7 893

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 821

You deserved it 3 857

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 314

You deserved it 2 320

Today, a customer left their shopping cart behind their car and backed into it. She then came inside and threatened to sue me personally for not sending someone to collect it from where she left it. After 5 minutes of her yelling, I finally got a word in edgeways: I don't work there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 279

You deserved it 360

Today, I listened to a recording of a woman saying, "I love you" for about 30 mins straight. That's apparently the only way I can feel loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 311