Health: Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter... - FML

By batsu - 27/01/2012 06:48 - Canada

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 972

You deserved it 66 793

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Same thing different taste

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 1 280

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 18:00

Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 614

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

Great balls of fire

By Ouch - 19/01/2017 08:19

Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 995

You deserved it 2 039

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 01:08 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 933

You deserved it 17 247

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 053

You deserved it 6 601

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 8 845

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 704

You deserved it 13 782

You played yourself

By anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 68 676

By one_BAMF - 25/07/2010 05:06 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 384

You deserved it 42 189

Next

Top comments

linstar 13

Friday 27 January 2012 11:58

You're a ******* idiot!

kendybendy 6

Friday 27 January 2012 11:59

Haha you totally deserve that! Just be happy you didn't make the bet about it being on your face or your dick

Comments

thiscrazything 1

Friday 27 January 2012 13:30

Alcohol + fire = dumb ass. Hope your burns heal quickly, and in the future maybe drink a little less, and stay alive.

docscientist 9

Friday 27 January 2012 16:37

Alcohol + dumbass + fire = burnt dumbass .

Equin0x 0

Friday 27 January 2012 13:30

We don't need no water, let the ************ burn!

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 27 January 2012 14:42

My hand, my hand, my hand is on FIYA!

DocBastard 38

Friday 27 January 2012 13:36

You can't really blame the guy for doing something so stupid. He was drunk! Ok, yes you can. It's official - you're a moron.

wironandine 8

Friday 27 January 2012 13:36

You're cool.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 27 January 2012 14:43

His hands are hot, thought.

Awnonymous 4

Friday 27 January 2012 13:36

retard

Giddy52 0

Friday 27 January 2012 13:48

Smart ass

Branflakes78 13

Friday 27 January 2012 13:50

And the dumbass of the goes to .....

GoW_Chick 14

Friday 27 January 2012 14:07

Wait...what?

Branflakes78 13

Friday 27 January 2012 15:03

sorry I meant to say dumbass of the year award goes to ..

rubberduckie94 13

Friday 27 January 2012 13:58

Ydi to you, not because you made this bet, you were drunk and I do hope you were old enough to drink, but because surely someone there was sober enough to see the failed logic you in your drunken stupor failed too see. You need better friends.

Zoranius 6

Friday 27 January 2012 14:00

Did OP really think he would get all the empathy from us FMYLIFERS?

LennyComa 39

Friday 27 January 2012 14:00

Dont have kids.

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 635

You deserved it 1 195

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 003

You deserved it 42 708

The Top

Today, I came out to my mormon mother as a pan enby, and told her I wanted to change my name. She asked how I came to this conclusion, so I told her how I’ve been secretly doing research on the topic. She says she supports me, but claims I broke her trust by lying for so long to avoid possible homophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 548

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 844

You deserved it 3 536

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 434

You deserved it 2 608

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 797

You deserved it 3 969

Today, I realized it's been over a month since my last therapy session. My therapist canceled on me and never got back in touch to reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 225

Today, after buying over $300 worth of food and alcohol, I found out all my friends aren't coming to my New Years party but headed to the BIG party at the local club. The one which I sold my ticket to after my friends convinced me to throw a party instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 094

You deserved it 3 120