Love: Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked... - FML

By CassidyQueen - 06/06/2015 02:14 - United States - Warrenton

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 239

You deserved it 5 575

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Same thing different taste

Say hello, wave goodbye

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. I also moved right back out, after I caught him sexting one of his coworkers just a few hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 92

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 679

You deserved it 3 610

He prefers the dog

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 370

By krisest1988 - 07/05/2016 21:34 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I need to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 719

You deserved it 973

By Anonymous - 11/03/2010 02:48 - United States

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 209

You deserved it 4 258

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 596

You deserved it 2 657

Put your foot down

By K.. - 28/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 179

Grossed out

By vomiting - 07/03/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 12/02/2015 16:50 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 343

You deserved it 2 548

By cockalicious - 01/03/2011 05:29

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 713

You deserved it 5 022

Next

Top comments

naturallyfuck 17

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:27

Well I wouldn't let you touch my apple jacks either

nkb94 18

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:26

Well shit. I hope he wasn't serious.

Comments

Tsukiyomi 16

Friday 12 June 2015 2:57

Paws of the jacks

Ethan11170 2

Friday 12 June 2015 19:17

You don't touch a mans apple jacks

Jayroc 18

Saturday 13 June 2015 4:33

Sounds like a huge Red Flag!!!

secretladieman 5

Saturday 8 August 2015 15:30

I think but he was kidding but don't touch his apple jacks that's where he hides his ****????RESPECT

thathobothere 17

Thursday 10 September 2015 12:43

Personally, I prefer CRACKER jacks. I guess this guy just is very protective of his apple jacks and thinks everyone should have their apple jacks to themselves and nobody else better touch them because they're more precious than Butterfinger bars.

sarcasticjane 27

Friday 2 October 2015 22:47

RUN!

katluvr 22

Saturday 24 October 2015 19:56

I hope you got the hell out and that your life is better now.

katluvr 22

Saturday 24 October 2015 19:56

I hope you got the hell out and that your life is better now.

Kenwhataburger 4

Monday 31 July 2017 21:25

Don't touch the mans Apple Jacks

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had awesome sex with my ex. Again. I broke up with her a few weeks ago as she admittedly hadn't been attracted to me anymore in a long time. Now she says that after we broke up she doesn't feel any pressure anymore, and can enjoy sex with me again like she did before she moved in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 199

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out the one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 247

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 583

You deserved it 15 386

Today, I realized I've lived alone for so long, I now apologize to my phone for dropping it, or even over-charging it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 181

Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 622

You deserved it 6 034

Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 223

You deserved it 29 541

Today, I found out someone doing the exact same job as me at work is making $900 more than me on their paycheck. The only reason is because when he messes up, he blames it on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 159