Love: Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store....

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 963

You deserved it 40 870

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 037

Hey you

By djteller - 25/04/2009 00:13 - Israel

Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 045

You deserved it 48 736

By Anonymous - 11/08/2014 17:24 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 699

You deserved it 51 476

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 10:12 - Malta - Qormi

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 172

You deserved it 5 995

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 496

You deserved it 6 823

By Anonymous - 22/02/2014 02:47 - United States - Irvine

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 902

You deserved it 8 248

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 20:06 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 364

You deserved it 12 713

By gumchuck - 05/02/2015 21:03 - United States - Marshall

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 851

You deserved it 16 306

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 17:41 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 434

You deserved it 10 078

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 798

You deserved it 11 968

Official_Person 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:34

You don't blow a bubble gum bubble if you're trying to impress someone. Unless you're six.

foolishworkerbee 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 2:33

i bet she was most impressed.

Comments

StoryOfTheYear 14

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:04

almost as smooth as sandpaper

princess09 3

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:10

Wow this made me lol. Anyways try to change your strategy next time ;)

Sunset_Taco 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:12

aftamonkey, epic comment.

kevint9911 15

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:14

that sure cause attention

kenadeemarie 4

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:18

i find it funny when someone messes up when trying to flirt

thatoneGeo 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:23

I've seen worse...did the gut next to you punch you?

MCaroline1130 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:42

HA!!

KaChii15 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 4:47

ahaha' -daym; yu were MADD asz hell.

bradyt2393 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 5:01

Hahaha

iazy9 14

Wednesday 17 March 2010 5:37

whats being moderated??

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Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

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Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 714

You deserved it 24 332

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 513

You deserved it 4 027

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 615

You deserved it 5 651

Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 400

You deserved it 2 967

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 543

You deserved it 47 176

Today, after my washing machine broke yesterday in the middle of a cycle, I went and spent $1400 on a new one. Also today, my dryer started to smoke and almost caught my clothes on fire. There goes another $1000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 786

You deserved it 330

Same thing different taste

Hey you

An attempt was made

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