Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw...

By Anonymous - 22/02/2014 02:47 - United States - Irvine

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 903

You deserved it 8 248

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Same thing different taste

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 435

You deserved it 8 585

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 964

You deserved it 40 871

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 04:00

Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 218

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 496

You deserved it 6 823

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 09:45 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 419

You deserved it 4 043

By amberrenee91 - 19/03/2013 03:29 - United States - Ellwood City

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 564

You deserved it 17 833

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 413

You deserved it 911

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 065

You deserved it 58 916

Slime

By klyoung5 - 03/01/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 406

You deserved it 4 977

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 740

omgbrainZ_fml 24

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:02

That's "snot" good.

extrasnipes 22

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:06

Is it me or do bad things only happen around attractive people?

Comments

bleeping 5

Saturday 22 February 2014 12:58

That's one way to get the boys!

omgbrainZ_fml 24

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:02

That's "snot" good.

andrewturtle 16

Saturday 22 February 2014 14:06

I think OP 'nose' that it's not very flattering.

Queen_bee1234 21

Saturday 22 February 2014 14:08

I think OP had a chance but blew it.

B4rn3yST1NSON 13

Saturday 22 February 2014 19:04

some random comment about you guys being nosy in all of this...still trying to make sense of it . Smells like failure to me. ;(

flame5768 14

Sunday 23 February 2014 3:27

loloololololol

SheTheOtaku 21

Sunday 23 February 2014 8:01

Oh, haha. Very Punny of you.

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Sunday 23 February 2014 10:08

#34 You little booger.

vegetaftw 28

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:02

Hot.

False_Stupidity 41

Saturday 22 February 2014 20:03

Snot is Hot? Or do you need air-conditioning?

jellybeens_fml 16

Saturday 22 February 2014 22:46

It's a joke^

onlychildFTW 33

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:03

You must be a hardcore giggler! I've never managed that.

chutney_02 22

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:04

If he's worth it, he'll understand :)

arandomusernameaa 20

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:06

Not exactly a way to look attractive though...

extrasnipes 22

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:06

Is it me or do bad things only happen around attractive people?

B4rn3yST1NSON 13

Saturday 22 February 2014 19:06

Agree ....lucky is not my middle name....wait what ??!

ClearlyImFunny 12

Saturday 22 February 2014 21:55

No its just you never hear, " farted infront of this guy who looked like he had been hit by a train. Fml"

zandalee 19

Saturday 22 February 2014 22:19

My brain just imploded...

strawberrywine22 30

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:07

It could have been worse, at least you didn't... nah, that was really bad. FYL!

leary96 15

Saturday 22 February 2014 16:05

There's a button for that.

Nickb55 16

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:15

That snot good I hope he nose that it wad an accident

TylerBurden 21

Saturday 22 February 2014 16:56

That was too much.

brandoneyez1 25

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:16

He's snot gonna find that attractive.

sydstoomuch 19

Saturday 22 February 2014 13:17

Lmfao!!!!

juan3611 14

Saturday 22 February 2014 15:21

Your profile picture..I'm drawing it atm for my art project o.O

B4rn3yST1NSON 13

Saturday 22 February 2014 19:07

-Has joined random chatroom #21067978. -Talal: art project ! wow !! what else have been going on in your life mate ?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5 mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh… I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 007

You deserved it 47 415

Today, despite knowing that I hate being the center of attention (and think that public proposals are stupid anyway), my boyfriend popped the question at a crowded hockey game. I threw up all over him, with thousands of people watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 122

The Top

Today, I went to work at my new job after taking a shower but I'd forgotten to put on deodorant. I started getting strange looks and wondered why, only to find out later that everyone was talking about me, including someone I have a crush on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 347

Today, my boyfriend found out that he has kidney failure. He was feeling sick for a few weeks and I had told him to drink lots of fluids and eat vegetables. Apparently that is really bad for kidney patients. I was killing him with water and spinach salads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 624

You deserved it 11 273

Today, and everyday since we got a puppy in March, my husband is jealous of the puppy who follows me everywhere. He was the one that wanted the puppy and now he practically hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 193

Today, whilst working my waitressing job, I had a patron lose his rag at me because there was too much "green stuff" in his salad. What did he expect? Chicken? FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 268

You deserved it 430

Today, I learned that the surprise party thrown for my girlfriend's 19th birthday was wonderful and she couldn't be happier. Except that I didn't show up. Apparently 40 people were invited but I wasn't one of them. We've been going out for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 486

You deserved it 4 056

Today, I told my mom that I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend having sex. My mom flew into a rage and slapped me several times, calling me a liar and made me apologize to my sister for saying something “so disgusting” about her. I wasn’t lying and she just smirked the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 477

You deserved it 828

Same thing different taste

PTSD

Slime

Good bye!

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