Love: Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 05:26 - United States - Burbank

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 349

You deserved it 2 466

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Same thing different taste

By Insomniac - 18/05/2019 04:17

Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 189

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 891

You deserved it 499

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 528

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 10 126

Noise complaint

By no sleep for me - 08/01/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 405

You deserved it 5 735

Gassy

By Fartnonymous - 18/08/2015 10:59 - Qatar - Doha

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 767

You deserved it 2 672

By PissedOff - 26/01/2017 14:25

Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 783

You deserved it 480

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 787

You deserved it 13 981

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

Toxic

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 02:00

Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend ever wants to hug me is just after he's let off a fart and wants to pull me into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 170

Next

Top comments

Zaxnu 0

Monday 14 May 2012 12:26

Are you sleeping with my husband?

shayshayshazam 14

Monday 14 May 2012 11:47

That really doesn't sound like a good time.

Comments

freakguy455 0

Monday 14 May 2012 19:09

Welcome to the wonderful life of matrimony....

hotforkegger 4

Monday 14 May 2012 21:02

I feel your pain lol

usolOvin 7

Monday 14 May 2012 22:03

Yeaaaah! Good times haha jp

kimg0885 23

Monday 14 May 2012 22:50

Try smothering him with a pillow?

bramberkhout 10

Monday 14 May 2012 23:43

Give the poor fella a break, he probably hates it too but just cant help it. He loves you and makes your life more happy and meaningfull, right? Hope you guys can find a good solution.

alycion 38

Tuesday 15 May 2012 0:34

Got to live the middle of the night butt bugle brigade. Especially when it scares the cats.

jflo1976 1

Tuesday 15 May 2012 1:46

His balls are covering his asshole, n creating a vapor lock!!!

ebfbruh 0

Tuesday 15 May 2012 3:45

Have u actually heard a drunken horse snore? I have... Sounds like your husband (read with the voice of bill shatner)

fenixtorador1 11

Tuesday 15 May 2012 6:04

Give him the Dutch oven

bramberkhout 10

Thursday 17 May 2012 0:31

As a Dutchman, I approve this message.

merrielp 13

Tuesday 15 May 2012 8:01

We ALL have "issues"...

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The Top

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 095

You deserved it 200

The Top

Today, I was in the bathroom taking a massive dump, with the door closed, moaning and yelling to get it out, knowing I was home alone. When it was done, I walked out to see my mother on the couch, who said, "I know masturbation is normal, but please try to do it while we're not here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 1 388

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 2 915

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents' house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad, and I were sitting in the living room when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There's some creepy hobo man outside messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 907

You deserved it 41 178

Today, my parents informed me that my dad is leaving my mom and moving to Florida from New York tomorrow. I just spent $300 on a new crossbow for his birthday, which is tomorrow, in hopes that he would spend more time with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 237

You deserved it 226

Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 317

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 734

You deserved it 5 476