Love: Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 05:26 - United States - Burbank

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 349

You deserved it 2 466

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Same thing different taste

By Insomniac - 18/05/2019 04:17

Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 188

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 499

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 524

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 278

You deserved it 10 126

Noise complaint

By no sleep for me - 08/01/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 405

You deserved it 5 735

Gassy

By Fartnonymous - 18/08/2015 10:59 - Qatar - Doha

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 765

You deserved it 2 671

By PissedOff - 26/01/2017 14:25

Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 783

You deserved it 480

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 782

You deserved it 13 978

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

Toxic

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 02:00

Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend ever wants to hug me is just after he's let off a fart and wants to pull me into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 170

Next

Top comments

Zaxnu 0

Monday 14 May 2012 12:26

Are you sleeping with my husband?

shayshayshazam 14

Monday 14 May 2012 11:47

That really doesn't sound like a good time.

Comments

kkillaj 5

Tuesday 15 May 2012 8:15

When you sleep in the same bed as OPs husband you're gonna have a bad time.

musicat29 6

Tuesday 15 May 2012 8:29

Try breathe right strips!

BMC1999 0

Wednesday 16 May 2012 6:05

Nice choice

Kush_bbi 3

Wednesday 16 May 2012 7:35

We're married to the same man lmfao

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 16 May 2012 23:33

Silly woman! You don't even know your sitting on a cash cow! Simply insert a hose up his rectum every night & collect the gas he expels over the course of the evening. Invest in a compression system & sell the excess for some dosh...(I expect a cut of the cheese, so to speak...)

Crackletown 0

Wednesday 6 June 2012 1:42

You shoul look into c paps

BrotherPhil 35

Friday 31 May 2013 11:10

Sorry Honey!

MarkToast 19

Sunday 17 November 2013 19:57

where did you learn what a drunken snoring horse sounded like?

qwerty123456789o 14

Monday 23 December 2013 8:50

Just feed him a lot of beans

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 8 397

You deserved it 46 641

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I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 311

Today, I was in a car accident. When I came home, I told my mom. She just got angry with me, blamed me for it, and didn't even ask if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 90

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 117

You deserved it 4 773

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 718

You deserved it 3 040