Miscellaneous: Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her...

By fmlsrslyahhh - 06/09/2011 19:40 - Singapore

Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 524

You deserved it 3 023

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By whathehell - 27/04/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 139

You deserved it 3 643

By whaaaaat111 - 09/03/2013 12:04 - United States - Vienna

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 2 765

Nutters Inc.

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 17:00

Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 078

You deserved it 182

By melean - 04/10/2010 06:37 - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 703

You deserved it 3 090

Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 28/04/2012 01:55 - United States - Darien

Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 672

You deserved it 2 578

By Anonymous - 21/06/2019 20:00

Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 195

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 121

By shifala - 22/01/2015 09:02 - Philippines - Caloocan

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 064

You deserved it 3 194

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 864

You deserved it 3 600

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 815

You deserved it 43 271

eltapatio16 5

Wednesday 7 September 2011 0:13

You deserve an apology.

SlimShady167 3

Wednesday 7 September 2011 0:13

Psh, what a dumb bitch. FYL

Comments

guitarplayer546 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 4:58

Just start being an asshole man. Being a nice guy has never done any bit of good. All the douche bags get ahead in life it seems.

mikalee85 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 5:17

Your comment : should've just kept it

losemymind 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 5:19

God people these days!

perfictlife14 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 5:23

That sucks ass!

funnyfailXD 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 5:26

was the hot dog good?

CiaranPM 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 5:39

Shoulda took all of the money out, threw the wallet at her, and left once she did that.

littlewimpe 3

Wednesday 7 September 2011 5:42

You should have kept it since she's such a *****.

Tonje__Langeteig 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 5:47

Shove a CORNDOG up her cooch lol she deserves it lololol

harlequin360 3

Wednesday 7 September 2011 5:50

what a ****.

bettysbizitch14 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 5:57

Definitely real life right here....

Keywords

Coworkers Work Dogs Animals Transportation Cars Miscellaneous Photography Art Videos Love Awkward Health Money Scams My ex Sex Family AITA Healthy Lifestyle Am I overreacting? Babies Kids Sleep Mental health Parents Cheating Break-ups Social Media Friends

The Top

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 014

You deserved it 3 325

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 3 948

The Top

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 234

You deserved it 2 824

Today, I learned that you should always check the inside of your guitar to avoid a snake bite. Nope, strings don't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 612

You deserved it 845

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump, she turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 960

You deserved it 1 617

Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 491

You deserved it 450

Today, I tried to turn my TV up. Unfortunately, the volume button got stuck, so it ended up turning all the way up to the max while I was listening to an already very loud song. If my neighbors didn't know I listen to a lot of blues rock, they do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 244

Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 039

You deserved it 340

Same thing different taste

Nutters Inc.

Smooth criminal

Opportunist

Top comments

Comments