Intimacy: Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister,...

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 15:01 - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 600

You deserved it 4 845

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Same thing different taste

Jailbird

By Donnie - 18/07/2019 06:00

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 526

You deserved it 235

Whatcha do when they come for you?

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 899

You deserved it 4 386

By Oops - 11/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 768

You deserved it 936

Work name

By Van - 09/11/2019 05:00

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 914

You deserved it 468

By Anonymous - 09/03/2010 07:47 - United States

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 333

You deserved it 4 608

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 14:31 - United States - Iowa Park

Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 730

You deserved it 8 314

By meegs - 17/10/2010 00:31 - Canada

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 025

You deserved it 31 771

By Username - 20/06/2011 15:57 - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 676

You deserved it 4 261

By Anonymous - 27/06/2019 00:15 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 180

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 127

You deserved it 3 562

dcg_957 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:48

Try explaining that story over thanksgiving dinner

ninjuh_wingman 29

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:52

Your parents must be so proud.

Comments

BaileySt4 5

Sunday 5 February 2012 5:22

Must've been awkward at the dinner table that night...

jesse_smith456 1

Sunday 5 February 2012 8:45

Story of my life.

kajolphagura 6

Sunday 5 February 2012 19:55

Yikes! That sucks for you! I would be so embarrassed to know if that was my sister :S

nersa426 0

Monday 6 February 2012 0:18

Happy ending?

alex1432 9

Monday 6 February 2012 6:59

I would of left her there

Hunterx700 17

Tuesday 7 February 2012 5:11

and nobody notices OP is a girl...

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 7 February 2012 19:24

that's sad.

oi_drunx420 0

Wednesday 8 February 2012 0:45

Whats your sisters number haha

tudorgirl12 5

Friday 10 February 2012 3:13

Your sister needs to be taught a lesson

FallenWolf 2

Saturday 11 February 2012 15:38

wow. what has happened to you, sis?

Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Awkward My ex Texting Wanker Intimacy Sex Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Parents Weekend Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, my boyfriend texted me a video of him having sex with a girlfriend he was screwing before we met. He thought it would turn me on; instead I am completely repulsed, and it will probably will haunt me for the remainder of our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 239

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our Skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 652

You deserved it 24 999

The Top

Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 655

You deserved it 48 875

Today, I picked up my passport, as my previous one was damaged in a car crash. As the teller warned me that a pattern of damaged passports would result in longer processing periods, she spilled her coffee - all over my new passport. I'm supposed to go overseas in a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 180

You deserved it 2 383

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 995

You deserved it 477

Today, it appears that moth larvae can make a water boiler their home, especially during my absence for four weeks. I learned it the hard way by pouring their boiled carcasses over my noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 697

You deserved it 2 217

Today, I realized how low my husband's libido has gotten over the years. He has zero intention of trying anything to fix it, no matter how hard I try. I don't even think I'm horny anymore as much as intimately touched starved. He ran his hand down my back in passing and I almost burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 221

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 990

You deserved it 6 372

Same thing different taste

Jailbird

Whatcha do when they come for you?

Work name

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