Intimacy: Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister,...

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 15:01 - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 609

You deserved it 4 847

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Jailbird

By Donnie - 18/07/2019 06:00

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 538

You deserved it 236

Whatcha do when they come for you?

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 902

You deserved it 4 386

By Oops - 11/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 772

You deserved it 939

Work name

By Van - 09/11/2019 05:00

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 922

You deserved it 469

By Anonymous - 09/03/2010 07:47 - United States

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 340

You deserved it 4 612

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 14:31 - United States - Iowa Park

Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 731

You deserved it 8 314

By meegs - 17/10/2010 00:31 - Canada

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 027

You deserved it 31 776

By Username - 20/06/2011 15:57 - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 682

You deserved it 4 261

By Anonymous - 27/06/2019 00:15 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 182

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 134

You deserved it 3 563

dcg_957 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:48

Try explaining that story over thanksgiving dinner

ninjuh_wingman 29

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:52

Your parents must be so proud.

Comments

BaileySt4 5

Sunday 5 February 2012 5:22

Must've been awkward at the dinner table that night...

jesse_smith456 1

Sunday 5 February 2012 8:45

Story of my life.

kajolphagura 6

Sunday 5 February 2012 19:55

Yikes! That sucks for you! I would be so embarrassed to know if that was my sister :S

nersa426 0

Monday 6 February 2012 0:18

Happy ending?

alex1432 9

Monday 6 February 2012 6:59

I would of left her there

Hunterx700 17

Tuesday 7 February 2012 5:11

and nobody notices OP is a girl...

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 7 February 2012 19:24

that's sad.

oi_drunx420 0

Wednesday 8 February 2012 0:45

Whats your sisters number haha

tudorgirl12 5

Friday 10 February 2012 3:13

Your sister needs to be taught a lesson

FallenWolf 2

Saturday 11 February 2012 15:38

wow. what has happened to you, sis?

Keywords

Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 577

You deserved it 5 576

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 233

The Top

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 264

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 157

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 3 685

Today, a lady talking about the Bible came to my house. She looked at me and said I wouldn't need to cut myself if I had God in my life. Mom heard and did a thorough investigation of my body for scars. I had to bathe my rabbit last night, and he scratched me. They were from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 677

You deserved it 187

Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 608

You deserved it 3 724

Today, my brother stole my hard drive and wiped it. My hard drive had a 10-page school project on it. The project is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 377

You deserved it 259

Same thing different taste

Jailbird

Whatcha do when they come for you?

Work name

Top comments

Comments