Intimacy: Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister,... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 15:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 609

You deserved it 4 847

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Same thing different taste

Jailbird

By Donnie - 18/07/2019 06:00

Spicy

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 538

You deserved it 236

Whatcha do when they come for you?

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 20:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 902

You deserved it 4 386

By Oops - 11/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Anchorage

Spicy

Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 772

You deserved it 939

Work name

By Van - 09/11/2019 05:00

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 922

You deserved it 469

By Anonymous - 09/03/2010 07:47 - United States

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 340

You deserved it 4 612

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 14:31 - United States - Iowa Park

Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 731

You deserved it 8 314

By meegs - 17/10/2010 00:31 - Canada

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 027

You deserved it 31 776

By Username - 20/06/2011 15:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 682

You deserved it 4 261

By Anonymous - 27/06/2019 00:15 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 182

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 134

You deserved it 3 563

Next

Top comments

dcg_957 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:48

Try explaining that story over thanksgiving dinner

ninjuh_wingman 29

Wednesday 1 February 2012 18:52

Your parents must be so proud.

Comments

dannnngthatsux 19

Tuesday 28 April 2015 23:14

And...She paid with a quickie?

dyne808 34

Saturday 18 July 2015 20:03

FYL indeed

JmarChanology 20

Friday 2 October 2015 17:27

Nice twist

xxWTFxx1981 23

Saturday 23 March 2019 21:17

I am sure some of us guys on here would like to give her a lecture and help you get her back on the straight and narrow why don't you post her number on here??? so we can help you of course...lol

Keywords

Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 486

You deserved it 38 932

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

You deserved it 42 713

The Top

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 260

You deserved it 4 975

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 364

You deserved it 3 764

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 920

You deserved it 111 670

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 939

You deserved it 6 775

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that my 12 year-old daughter had to get in the driver's seat to order from the drive-thru. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 774

You deserved it 2 858

Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 689

You deserved it 1 828