Health: Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends...

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/01/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 080

You deserved it 6 013

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 793

You deserved it 25 010

By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 565

You deserved it 4 002

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 56 260

Ballin'

By oww - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 055

You deserved it 722

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 18:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 692

You deserved it 3 407

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 3 659

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 694

You deserved it 54 445

Risky

By Josh - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 204

By fuck - 21/04/2012 02:48 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 921

You deserved it 4 078

bigbadtim 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:11

Lag time sucks.

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:16

That was when you should have fired a paintball at his weiner.

Comments

Sir_Swaggington 6

Saturday 26 January 2013 8:49

OP needs a new boyfriend. This dude is psycho.

MrBrightsidexvi 6

Saturday 26 January 2013 8:57

His brain is lagging lol the kid can't handle his shit.

journeytotheend 16

Saturday 26 January 2013 9:27

See if my gf beat me. I would be damn proud. "Fück yeah, this is my girl" But of course I would win lol

cmac86 23

Saturday 26 January 2013 9:34

sure hope you mean your ex.

quincykid23 6

Saturday 26 January 2013 10:46

My gf beat me in paintball once. I was damn proud of her :) She also has beaten me in call of duty and halo... And battlefield hah. Still damn proud of her. Ain't nothing wrong with a girl that can beat us guys at our own game

ravenevercross 19

Tuesday 29 January 2013 6:11

I agree, but...gotta ask, is she just that good or do you just suck that much?

Vinnie500 14

Saturday 26 January 2013 11:53

Lol. Maybe you should find a man friend instead of a "boy" friend that can't separate fantasy from reality.

YoshiPL 8

Saturday 26 January 2013 12:14

And you are still with him? Shame on you

Maycontainnuts 17

Saturday 26 January 2013 13:11

Getting shot close range in the chest really hurts... OP's boyfriend sounds like a douche. And really guys? How are we ever meant to have equal genders if women can't beat men at things without men getting offended.

JohnyLoca 8

Saturday 26 January 2013 13:19

You totally deserved it for picking a boyfriend like that. The signs are usually obvious so you should have known better and not complain now...

graphicstyle7 17

Saturday 26 January 2013 23:15

Not complain now? Er, that's not a husband, that's a boyfriend. That's WHEN you complain, before you have a life-long contract with him. If boyfriend is a jerk, he can be easily (or even no too easily, some jackasses take a while to get a clue) dumped. No harm, no foul.