Geek: Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people... - FML

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 082

You deserved it 34 729

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Nice try

By No.Life. - 14/07/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 540

You deserved it 32 579

By Kimberly - 22/10/2009 12:26 - France

Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 079

You deserved it 35 118

By :/ - 01/10/2013 10:18

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 257

You deserved it 17 483

By tbeemcgeebee - 01/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 925

You deserved it 33 661

Clout chasing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 588

You deserved it 47 235

Get a life

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 805

You deserved it 42 347

By Jakeok - 14/11/2014 00:04 - United States - Fraser

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 407

You deserved it 7 635

By Baileyy - 01/03/2011 23:18 - United States

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 181

You deserved it 41 252

Desperation

By Anonymous - 18/02/2022 21:59

Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 393

By KrazyKill - 09/03/2012 19:04 - Canada

Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 992

You deserved it 75 035

Next

Top comments

iAmScrubs 19

Monday 16 May 2011 0:02

The people on chat are also on Facebook. If you don't have a life, they don't have one.

CitrusGirl 0

Monday 16 May 2011 0:42

No one keeps track of how often you're online or offline unless they too have no life.

Comments

stitch_book 4

Monday 16 May 2011 0:16

YDI and you know it.

moonglow93 4

Monday 16 May 2011 0:18

hahaha just say yu never sign out of it lol

ximenita0731 0

Monday 16 May 2011 0:25

get a life then. dont pretend

KatrinaKitten 16

Monday 16 May 2011 0:27

I don't quite understand how people get addicted to Facebook.

Hidan_fml 0

Monday 16 May 2011 1:40

Maybe like some people get addicted to World of Warcraft or Call of Duty. I'm not saying Facebook, Call of Duty and World of Warcraft are the same, but the concept of doing something you really like to do. It's like when people try something new and it's fun, then it's VERY easy to become addicted to it. And then they're on it all the time. That's just my theory, though.

uncbballwins 0

Monday 16 May 2011 2:12

People get addicted to facebook because: 1) They're ego-maniacs. 2) They have nothing else to do aka have no life

tweetbaby14 18

Monday 16 May 2011 3:18

55, how does something like Facebook feed one's ego? I have yet to see anything like that happen. also, when does having nothing better to do mean you have no life? I'm pretty sure it just means you've got nothing fun/ interesting to do at the moment.

uncbballwins 0

Monday 16 May 2011 4:34

66- I was going to try and argue with you but I reasoned myself out of a losing battle. Congratulations, sir.

Predental 5

Monday 16 May 2011 0:33

Why don't you actually chat on Facebook? Thats social.

CitrusGirl 0

Monday 16 May 2011 0:42

No one keeps track of how often you're online or offline unless they too have no life.

adeadplayer 0

Monday 16 May 2011 1:09

And now your here. hmmm

ilyfrenchiee 0

Monday 16 May 2011 1:17

wow, people need to get a life, before facecrack takes over the world...

ladylora 2

Monday 16 May 2011 8:16

fer sure! I despise faceboogers!

ShelbyyCakess 0

Monday 16 May 2011 1:19

facebook is a life.

kc1997kc 9

Monday 16 May 2011 1:20

umm I've done that. not on Facebook, but yeah. fyl an fml

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 80

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 495

The Top

Today, I found out that the reason I couldn’t buy a commemorative jacket to wear at my rugby club's 50th anniversary was because the event had already happened. I paid in full for the event, and it cost me most of my savings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 1 483

Today, I returned from a trip to Budapest with more condoms than I had brought with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 469

You deserved it 962

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 865

You deserved it 2 666

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 548

You deserved it 3 468

Today, I told my housemate I was moving out, giving 5 weeks notice. She decided she’d move out too and told the landlord, who gave us 2 weeks notice. I have to pack a house worth of stuff while working full time. She's a uni student who owns a bed and two bookshelves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 585

You deserved it 332

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 613

You deserved it 5 502