Miscellaneous: Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found... - FML

By jumpy - 03/01/2010 23:59 - United States

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 625

You deserved it 6 556

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Same thing different taste

By lemonhead - 23/05/2011 01:58

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 926

You deserved it 47 475

Nature finds a way

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 460

Code red

By Zooep - 24/10/2016 13:54

Today, I had to prepare for my big meeting tomorrow morning. Before going to bed, I washed my face. Unfortunately, the towel I wiped myself with turned out to house our red ant infestation. My face looks like a ripe tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 743

You deserved it 793

By ewicsmelly - 29/12/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 758

You deserved it 56 781

Freak Scene

By antsgomarching - 06/10/2020 17:01

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 127

By Steve - 24/02/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 36 223

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 544

You deserved it 3 838

By Anonymous - 05/06/2017 22:00

Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 214

You deserved it 346

Chip on your shoulder

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59 - United States

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 1 135

By tommy3824 - 20/08/2009 12:45 - United States

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 578

You deserved it 3 087

Next

Top comments

Reyo 2

Monday 4 January 2010 9:08

What is the reasoning behind putting sliced veggies on your face to relax? Will sticking a carrot up my ass achieve the same effect?

paprikacha 9

Monday 4 January 2010 9:24

It's supposed to reduce puffiness/dark circles under the eyes. I've never done it myself, so I have no idea how well it really works when you just use actual cucumber slices instead of the cosmetic cucumber pads they sell. Just saying there's a legitimate reason behind it and OP isn't just crazy. : )

Comments

supmofukka 0

Monday 4 January 2010 10:10

where the fudge do u live where u cant hav cucumbers on ur eyes without ants tryin to eat them out (lol) ydi for havin an infestation....or for makin this up

gurlgonemadd 0

Monday 4 January 2010 10:21

Reyo- u rocked my socks off lmfao! ur comment was way better then the FML itself......thx i needed that

SenGaeriel 3

Monday 4 January 2010 10:28

OMFG! That is just creepy. You can get ants in the winter. I got them worse in the winter than summer. They like the heat.

fyl11122233 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 15:54

exactly! therefore this FML is not fake.

mollywebster55 0

Monday 4 January 2010 11:00

How the hell could you of typed this when you said that ants were eating your eyes out - you would be blind!

cynima 0

Monday 4 January 2010 11:38

Dear, she said trying. Trying.

lizzard01 4

Monday 25 July 2011 23:12

maybe they succeeded. Molly, ! WIN !

maxene 0

Monday 4 January 2010 11:15

This probably isnt true because cucumbers repel ants, it has some compound known as "trans-2-nonenal" that repels ants as well as cockroaches.

Flutist 3

Monday 4 January 2010 17:47

Cucumber and citrus peels are toxic to the types of fungi that ants feed on.

Yulia_fml 0

Monday 4 January 2010 21:18

If it's the cucumber peel that's toxic, and these cucumbers were sliced, then it's possible that they could've crawled onto the cucumber.

LauraTheKiwi 0

Monday 4 January 2010 11:25

LOL REYO. ;D YDI for not checking the cucumbers. But I like the way this FML is worded. :L

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 4 January 2010 12:46

get an illustrizzy for this up in hurr

Jokaka 0

Monday 4 January 2010 14:07

haha rontflmao

cel123456789 0

Monday 4 January 2010 15:09

lmfao reyo

GanjAxZermA 0

Monday 4 January 2010 16:37

ouch!! sorry :(

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Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

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