Miscellaneous: Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom...

By airhead2015 - 12/02/2014 17:57 - United States - Morristown

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 416

You deserved it 5 686

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Same thing different taste

By Obi1Shinobi - 30/10/2012 14:27 - United States

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 143

You deserved it 4 663

By phukt - 19/05/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 176

You deserved it 30 568

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 654

By wiper - 04/05/2011 03:12

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 441

You deserved it 5 755

By Broke Ass Hoe - 28/12/2017 15:00

Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 764

You deserved it 606

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 348

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 505

You deserved it 5 644

Use your socks

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 05:01 - Norway

Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 221

By CallmeEddie - 14/11/2013 16:44 - United States - Joliet

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 892

You deserved it 4 909

You must be ******** me

By MyLyfeSux - 25/09/2009 22:09 - United States

Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait, hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was four extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 926

You deserved it 53 972

HKCgrimmjow 15

Wednesday 12 February 2014 20:21

Your dad sounds like me when I have kids... Hilarious and majestic. Except I would have said "want to play a game?" In saws voice.

Grauncho 27

Wednesday 12 February 2014 20:23

Considering this is an FML, I'm going to assume you failed THE FINAL TEST.

Comments

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 13 February 2014 1:58

Then your dad shouldn't get mad when you hopefully wiped your ass with his bath towel. Since he gave you a ridiculously small bit of tp to wipe with.

joker7k 6

Thursday 13 February 2014 3:32

Funny. I do it to my son all the time. You would think he learned his lesson by now. He's 16.

Traitoro 9

Thursday 13 February 2014 3:43

Just yell challenge accepted and take a shower. Don't let them win!

mariof13579 4

Thursday 13 February 2014 4:27

Did you pass the test? I sure hope so.just don't go shaking hands with people for a while if you failed.

GiovanniPaisa 8

Thursday 13 February 2014 10:30

If his towel is in the bathroom use it , never said you couldn't cheat on the test ;)

NodakN8V 25

Thursday 13 February 2014 14:20

Be thankful it wasn't duct tape

blueknight1st 26

Thursday 13 February 2014 16:14

This is when you just wipe your ass with the shower curtain.

jeriaslovesyou 16

Thursday 13 February 2014 20:27

Oh my gosh, I love your dad! XD

Taolan 23

Friday 14 February 2014 9:57

Your dad is kinda awesome.

Xotoolyxo 16

Friday 14 February 2014 22:54

Kleenex... Use it

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The Top

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 15 067

The Top

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 579

You deserved it 4 165

Today, my supposed "best friend" started going out with the girl I'd just split up with, immediately after she said she wanted to see other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 106

Today, while standing in line at a local Mexican fast food place, I was feeling generous and let a little kid behind me go in front. Turns out he had a list, and was ordering food for his whole family. I had to wait 30 minutes to get my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 040

You deserved it 13 533

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 385

You deserved it 3 654

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 941

You deserved it 10 130

Today, I was at work with my boyfriend. I was being playful and recounting something that had happened in my D&D session the night before. I imitated the roar from the dragon that the DM had done, and midway though, the postman walked in with a delivery. He walked back out without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 625